Frenchysfollies

surprise friend sex

2011-01-28T23:55:00.010-02:00

Old friend needs consoling. I am nothing if not compassionate. A few drinks later I am sitting next to him to show him a book without any ulterior motive. His hand rested on my leg. "accident" I infer. He turns to face me. OH SHIT HE WANTS TO KISS ME!
what am I supposed to do now???

He's not a bad man, we've been sexual before, but we had clear limits, then. Now it's just him and I alone. No limits. I am pent up. I know his mouth on me will be satisfactory. Still... I try to reason after 4 drinks.... "This is my FRIEND. A friend is more important that SEX!
I'm a straight shooter. I say " I think you want to come on to me. I'm not sure what to do with that." he replies slighly " lets talk about it! why wouldn't you want me to kiss you?"
( I didn't know he was a salesman, too!)
I said something about friendship and fear of being with a man. It had been so long for me.
He began to lean in slowly. I watched him come get me like you pick a delicate flower. I found no will to resist, as if hypnotized.
His lips landed on mine lightly parted; I kissed back. Soon came light toungue flicks. I was not used to this kind of kissing. he kept going. I relaxed. I let myself be discovered and followed his lead. He tamed me with his toungue. what a nice feeling to be with a confident gentle man. He asked: "so how is it, kissing a man?" I whispered :" nice, that was nice"
He leaned in closer. I somehow ended up half laying down on the couch noticing my breathing grew shallow and fast. thoughts racing: " How am I getting this excited from kissing?" what the hell is he doing to me? not even touching my body? Just then, a caress passed over my breast. A moan escaped from me. My senses are rushing. I am too out of control. I need to reel it in or decide to let myself go. There is not much room left for using logic. what can go wrong ? I trust him to be my friend... friendship and sex don't always play well together... The internal debate was interrupted

A. warm hand. is. upmyskirt. SHOULD I STOP HIM NOW? oh god! just this slight caress over my underware made me moan. How adroitly did he aim? too late! my logic is dead. I HAVE to know whatever is next. I want to feel as good as this hand can make me.
His hand is IN my panties! SHOULD I BE ALARMED? he's playing me like a familiar instrument . How is this happening to me?
My wetness is obvious as soon as his skin feels mine. The kissing is continuous. His CHEST is glued to mine.
I feel his hard muscles, The gentleness of his touch. The contrast is intoxicating. It's easier to just not fight it. My senses are awake, like a slumbering vulcano. I came before I knew what hit me. Oh Gawd I hope he's not going to stop!
I'm nude. can't recall how that happened. I need this to be a long night. His fingers are inside me. He finds his way easily. Gently, but with firm determination he hits my sweet spot. I can't remember liking penetration this much.?
My brain suddenly remembers he fucked me once about 10 years ago and that's how he fucked: excellently. I'm reliving it through his fingers now... remembering we never finished that fuck... My house is filled with loud moans growing to a kind of gutteral scream. His mouth is on my nipple. I'm high on the endorphins. The licking is pleasant. mmm. nice... suddenly a warmth is building , like growing tingling auras around the nipple he 's sucking. Bursts of pleasure shooting into my brain. Half the time I am self-conscious of my 40 year old natural breasts because I know he is used to perfect silicone. Just as I was going to mention something, my breasts burned with buzzing and I yelped into a surprise nipple orgasm.
MY FIRST completed breast orgasm! yay! how did that happen? ( yes, I asked) he smiled and kneeled in front of my sex.

sweet jeebus! he is going down on me, too? I've already come at least 10 times. Seeing a man on his knees excites me. Oh yes! I'm ready for this !
I relax knowing I need to think of pacing myself. His mouth is on me. I assume I have time to adjust. After all, everyone fumbles as they explore new territory.
ooooh... his mouth engulfs my pussy. Everything is warm and loved. The first two licks seem flat toungued and generous. I like it."you're good at that", I encourage.
He doesn't bother to moan or acknowledge. He goes with his talent, undeterred. I start cumming. I'm shocked his mouth has only been on me about 20 seconds. My body shakes in waves, then convulses. No matter how much my body shakes and twists, he never loses track. When I think I can't possibly take any more he slows down just enough to let me savor the orgasm and build a new one. I don't have to say a word to let him know where I'm at, he's reading it all, somehow.
How does a person invent this technique on a one night fling?
I've been with women who weren't as good. I don't know which is more exciting the lessons I want to learn from him, or the fact my body is so playfully responsive. There is orgasm black out. The more I come, the more I want to come. I strangely wish to sit on his face. he lets me. I'm fantasizing burrying him in my pussy.Three hours later, I cried uncle. he kept going. " i give", said I. he kept. going. my orgasms were like unending machine gun fire. Each one rolled into another. I gathered my scattered remaining brain cells, focused and clearly said "STOP!". He stopped instantly.
I asked "Was that 'find the magic word game'?"....mmm, he purred. "I'd like to play it again!"I exclaimed,more girly than I wanted. he answered 'like that, huh?" as he grinned.
The end of round 1.

restaurant play.

2010-03-13T01:12:00.006-02:00

it was nathalie's birthday. we decided to eat spanish and see flamenco. it's so sensuous. wine flowed. there must have been a dozen of us. I was only aware of the music and his hand on my thigh. Of course, his hand on my thigh led to my hand on his thigh.

we loved to one up each other in the teasing department. it made everything fun.
he leaned over and whispered " I am hard for you" .
I said "really?" as if surprised and innocent.
he nodsd with sparkly eyes and a slight smile.

I leaned to his ear and said " You don't mind if I check for myself do you?" as if I were some kind of stern dick inspector.
He looked sheepish as if scolded and said "no"
I ran my hand up his thing under the table. the game required us to still pay attention to dinner conversation around us while we were conveniently seated next to each other.

I stopped when I got very close to his penis and squeezed his thigh.
"are you embarassed?"
he says no.
I push him..."what if the waitress sees your hard dick and is offended?"
he retorts " do you want to move to the coat closet behind us?"
he upped the anty.Damn!
I had been caressing his thigh and staring fire into his eyes.
I acted offended and whispered: "You'll have to make me much wetter."
he says " can I touch you between your legs?
I now go for a full grab under the table and find him raging hard.
I move up and down his shaft, pondering... then lean in as if to kiss his cheek and say " yes, but not inside my panties."
he kisses me with toungue he lets me know he is damn serious.

my friend nathalie says "excuse me! giovanni, I was talking to my friend and it is my birthday, can you share?"
he beams .. "yes! I am so sorry."
I exclaim " excuse me, I think my boyfriend can kiss me on your birthday! as that moment his hands gently caress my pussy in way that sends immediate electricity to my brain like a jolt. my eyes grew wide. he covered for me, kissing me again. Then apologizing saying he clearly needed to calm me down. I thanked him.
My friend went on to talk about why love was such an important part of a relationship and how children should be the next logical step for her and her boyfriend she loved to humiliate in public.
my man whispers " are you ready for the coat closet?

I give him the eye of challenge + excitement.
swallow hard and after a few moments reply as I lean over to whisper "there is progress"... then with hesitation :" but you must do more"...
he laughs and squeezes my thigh while I am now full on stroking his member under the table.
he is kissing my neck as I am engaged in two conversations, that I absolutely can't now recall.
I heard a low voice say " we could get the waitress to come with us in the closet. after we pay. I think she likes you.
as he was stroking my pussy up and down in delicious ways.
My eyes were starting to close.

To play this game, all the gestures have to be discreet, imperceptible , yet firm enough to cause maximum pleasure. it takes concentration.
he is tipping me over the edge with his story. I give in , turn to him and again fully kiss him in a way that makes us both moan and buzz. Nathalie yells out to her man
"why don't you ever kiss me that way?! you can see these two love each other!"
while they started their typical Friday night fight, I whispered to Giovanni:"are you serious about the waitress?"
he said "if you want."
I said I don't think we can do the closet. I noticed there is no door or curtain to close the coat closet... he answered "it's just a game, for the moment, to be hot.
We can go to the bathroom if you want."
I want the waitress.
oh, you are now "wet enough"? he asks
I smile giving him control: "You know I am"
he humbly replied " I barely felt it" .

"well I need to come" ,I explanined. "I am getting close to soreness. what about you?"
he said he could handle it. he always wins. DAMMIT
the waitress had disappeared, everyone paid their bill. we quickly made it to the car, where he gave me a handjob til I moaned loudly while he kissed me. my hand was on his cock... grabbing it, squeezing it. he was getting started. going home was a 15 minute ride. He was kind not to make me wait.
he asked me to keep him warm while he drove.
I opened his pants, swallowed him whole. I wanted revenge.
he asked me to stop the blowing after about 5 minutes so he could city drive.
to be continued...

conception

2010-01-20T02:02:00.008-02:00

one night, recently , i sensed in Darren the desire to dominate. There was something ever so discreet in his tone.
i playfully enjoined him " so you want to be bossy ?" he answered "that could be fun!" he lept from his seat to lay down on the bed.
"Come over here" he sternly commanded. I obeyed. "take yourshirt off, leave your pants on."
shirt off. it was such a relief to not have to be in charge of everything, for once... beautiful to watch him have some confidence to direct...
he kept it up. "You can look at my cock , but you can't touch it."
I stared to please him.
take off your pants.
pants off.
you can touch me , but you can't suck it.
May I also touch your balls?
yes he whispered
I firmly grasped his cock and gently cupped his balls. he warned you can squeeze, but not jerk.
i created a slow motion emulating jerking while maintaining a firm squeeze and strognly cupping those balls. As I started to get lost in the cock worship, he commanded
"I'm going to touch your pussy".
Can I suck you now? "suck it and look at your self in the mirror, but only the tip."
oh yeah, that's good.
how does it taste? he asked. ( my brain thought hey, baby, if you're dom you don't ask for reassurance in the middle of a scene) but it was his first time, so i avoided commenting on the piss flavored treat. I waited for the next command, pleasing him with a"mmm".
he only let me lick and suck for about 4 or 5 strokes. then said " I want to be inside you now.
he comanded " get on top!". I moved to straddle him, slowly kneeling over him... i began rubbing myself the length of his shaft grinding softly to offer myself to him. We sighed together the sigh of fulfilled desire. It was not long before he said " help me get inside with a lost little boy look. I asked what about a condom? he shook his head no. We had spoken about a mutual desire for a child. He was expecting to be hired for a good job soon... the moment seemed auspicious... i am willing to take the risk, assuming he'll pull out if he does not wish to do so. he enters. WAIT! i gasped.( i am extremely petite in the vagina)
For the first time in four years, Darren, the self proclaimed virgin, showed instant perfect control. I was elated. It was as if he had mastered anal sex behind my back. I didn't care. It was perfect. Maybe we could finally start having a more fully satisfying sex life? we waited for me to open and get used to the girth. I was helping myself rubbing circles on my clit with my hand, since Darren left me utterly without stimulation. My brain was tempted to ask him about possible gay adventures. I was turned on thinking of the possibilities i might hear about and thinking of the hot talk that could ensue... but that would break role.
As my tight pussy relaxed, i was able to accomodate him. He is curved, so he needs to be cautious , but can get straight to my G-spot. He threw his head back within seconds of fully penetrating me. I heard his breathing accelerate and a few moans escaped his throat. We came together like a choreographed ballet without the need for words. My moans getting progressively faster and louder seemed to bring him with me. I leaned back until I was lying on the bed whiel we were still entertwined in the nether regions. He likes to have his dick bent backwards. Amazingly, he stayed in place. Go, D! he was in rare form ! That position is for the experienced only! He was finally holding his own! there must be hope. He smiled brightly looking in my eyes as I bent him back as he liked. He then sat up and rocked me from the inside for a while, as I like. It was getting harder not to scream. I whipped my head and his glasses flew off. I needed a clue about what pace to keep for him. I asked "you're not close are you ?"
" I already came" he replied. - i was shocked he made a unilateral decision that he announced only after the fact. He killed the impending all nighter with 3 little words...
and that is how new life was formed on December 6, 2009.

.

muff

2007-08-18T07:08:00.000-02:00

I love everything about pussy. Not just any pussy. I like mine a lot. I like those that keep some hair on them. I love to be next to a naked woman , caressing her soft pubic hair . First, just to feel it like a little cloud of goodness waiting for me. Then, as i notice a sigh or a slight tremor, I like to follow her sensation with my hand.
Everything about a sensual woman is like a bit of paradise to me. Women's pussys can be downright moving.
have you ever just looked closely?
muffs look so vulnerable.
if I get my face really close I can inhale that sweet scent, unique to each female form. I get a little high when that happens. It's hard to control my ardor. I want to lap it all up like a thirsty dog as soon as i see the promise of nectar.
yet, i manage to pause, to be in the moment.
mmm feeling the softness, waiting for the legs to invite me by spreading. Seeing the initial glistening wetness, knowing how the anticipation is building, feeling the heat that begins to emanate from that mysterious venerable place.
When i am near a pussy that calls to me, i love myself more. I know that sounds weird and is practically taboo talk in lesbian world... yet, i cannot help but wonder if half of what makes sex with same sex so hot is that I know exactly how she feels depending on the pitch of her moan.

where was I???
pussy glistening... right !
I let it wait until it pumps out copious juice and her body is writhing or wriggling ... the pussy tries to shove itself onto whatever i have to offer for stimulation. that is when i approach my tongue ever so slyly merely tasting while exploring every inch as I wrote in Cunnilingus 101.

I love to watch pussys contract when they are asking for penetration.
The longer I wait, the more furiously it expands and contracts.
The more open it looks. I cannot help my amazement at the simultaneous strength and vulnerability that is Pussy.
Pussy as emblem of Woman.
that moment of uncontrolled desire makes me so .... hot and simultaneously empowered.
Then comes the moment when i deign to go inside to find a warm wet inviting place that sucks me in , grows wide with desire and orgasmic preparation...
Every woman is different in how she receives.
every Pussy has its own welcome pattern.
some are shy , some are generous. All are a place of wonder.
i like the looking at the ones where the lips are very easy to play with and tug.
I like a clit I can lick with ease rather than hunt. I like noticing each ethnic particularity. Pussy is communion. ( eat of my flesh, I believe was said)
I appreciate the gift of each one that has been generously offered to me.

for madeline

2007-07-24T08:27:00.000-02:00

He is kissing me until my chest heaves.....he's sucking breasts...
i let out a litany of I love thewayyousuck my breasts,
my brain thinks there should be a medal for that...
damn he is some kinda expert... I wish he'd blog it.

I've been on the planet a while, no one can beat him at takin care of my soft generous breasts. My hips had been asking for it.
my sounds started getting loud.
"I 've been wanting and waiting for days"... I said.

mmm he licks my stomach with breast kneading ....mmmm all the right stuff

a first belly button lick after trainning.....
FUCKING DIVINE!! i think i could come that way , given time...
the pussy licking commenced.
First the lips, then the sides near the clit... then flat toungue.

Holy jesus , i am gonna get it good tonight!
He is putting all the good moves together.
"I love it when you take control of me"

He treads on with singleness of purpose. He now knows that what i need is not harder and faster but rather slower.

i want the grand tour of my body, where the anticipation builds so that i can come like an animal.
Sudenly, i am screaming while panting.
not one or two, but a series...

i don't know what i am.
i am not sure if i am cuming but god that feels goooooood.
prehistoric days are on my mind. caves and fucks with grunts...
Hell yeah he is THE MAN!
his sweet face behind my pussy is giving it to me so good that i start traveling.
This time, i travel commitedly: all i am is primal screams , wetness and writhing.

i thought of possible injury as i whiped my head back so hard and repeatedly.
pleasure wins. my next thought: "never mind, get it good, my little valliant soldier."

words came from me...i have no idea what language or form...
this is the best lickin i have ever had in my life!
then a clear thought emerged
I want to make love
make good love
make it right, long close.
i wanna take him in me
i want to give what i have been getting.
"i want to make love to you , " said I decidedly.

mmmerrfffffket

UUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAA i came again.
must have been those vibrations.
after a litle wave, i asked what did u say ?
ffffooommmmmwwwwwwwwiiiit
OOOOOOOOOOOO aaaa aaaaaa aaaaa
i came again
dammit my pussy is rockin! i can't have a conversation.
i paused determined to cut off sensation for a moment
"what? " i asked with control.
"lets do it." he replied

frenchified

2007-07-24T06:10:00.001-02:00

this is the first itme i hqve returned home and have not liked it. my sleepy town has become an angry big city> this is what some call progress> the older ladies wearing black to signify permanent grief at being widows don't talk at the bus stops anymore> they are afraid because of racism hyped by medias, they call the brown people "foreigners" ,even though many were born here expatriated generations ago to escape the genocide the french wanted to impose to maintian colonial power. my sweet lover is away from me> talks of what we'll do when i get back are not exactly gettign it for me> of course, its nice to talk, but i want action. Nice dirty action like we had last time we were here which i forgot to blog about. in the mean time, I met a hot foreigner at the bus stop> SHe is lonely, indian and seemingly innocent> I dont quite know why that turns me on.... the notion of educating her and corrupting innocence... She is in her late twenties. I stayed strong , though. temptation is near, but faithful behavior is maintained on my end.

Served up fresh

2007-01-29T09:23:00.000-02:00

"can you take our picture?" I asked the waitress.
sure are you on vacation? She retorted.

Why must people have a reason to be affectionate in public , i wondered. What an odd notion! You can only kiss if on your honeymoon, or on vacation... How sad for them.

the sexiest thing about dinner was when it came time to leave the restaurant.
Darren said " give me a minute, i have an erection."
-So soon?"
"just being near u makes me horny", he answered.

we walked hand in hand sitting by the water soaking up the moon and stars while he bathed me in compliments which definitely increased my pulse rate.

I adore spending time with him, he is smart , sensitive, astute about the world and attentive to me.

on the drive home, each red light was occasion to grab tits or pussy.

A boy must have what a boy wants when he is driven by the force of a dick that has not come all day.

I understand this.

yet, my delicate female sensitivities need a little more in the way of creating desire. At least,i did for this night. I had not come in days. I wanted and expected a long slow night filled with enough orgasms to make me forget my name.

so i explained:" honey, we have all night."

-"I am trying, it's just really hard.", he answered enthusiastically.

-"ok, but i really want you to control my desire, "i smiled.
..."i want you to have me thinking "thank god " when you touch my breast...
not' What the fuck ? He just grabbed my boob!"
he nodded knowingly.

this , ladies, is where my patience mixed in with his talent at learning have paid off BIG!

he continued driving keeping his hands in PG places and predictably, i wanted more. However, he does not further investigate. He continued his innocent "discovery tour"

until he made me ask " Will you take me home?"

"yes"He answered without pause.

mmmm , now he was speaking my language.

I lead him to the bedroom as soon as we entered home. For his reward, and to make him feel my desire, I decided to undress him.
langourously, caressingly, I slid his clothes off his body.
his cock stood at attention the entire time.
I reached in his boxers. Took what I wanted and stroked the part he says is mine, for now.

Since now is all we have, that's good enough for me.

I took my own clothes off in order to retain control.

I know the man.

when he is horny he is like a jet plane on a mission to my pussy. The only way to make it a bus tour is to get him off.

so, while he tried to suck my breast, i knelt to suck his cock.
the mirror was our witness. He asked for his glasses to have a better view.

I love that he is unashamed of his turn ons, this inspires no end of mischief in me.

I kept to the sucking , slow steady as he likes.
a firm grip for cheating because the boy is bigger than my mouth.

he laid down. I switched it up, jerking his hot cock while I began to rim his sweet ass.

The entire time he encouraged me with:

"I love it when you lick my ass, mmm that's so good.
I love your hand so soft on my cock"...
until i drowned in a sea of hot talk.

He can get me started with a few carefully chosen sentences. he knows it.

he said " can you feel my come rising? I love to see your beautiful tits."

-" I love to watch you come and shoot on me, on these nice jiggly tits that are all for you", i encouraged.

joining my words to deed, I began to purposefully jerk it, while jiggling my breast with my wrist. He watched, hungry.
finding new ways to excite and please him makes me hot.

he laid back:
"there it is!"he calmly stated; white milky hot come served up fresh for me. mmmmm

he smiled with glee, sat up to hold me close.

I love that he is unashamed of his emotions.

The stance

2006-02-20T18:58:00.000-02:00

Can't sleep, body buzzes. That sexy man next to me, too tired to move. If I didn't love him , I'd rape him. Want his cock in my mouth NOW!
3 Am , still cant sleep. Loud sighs, pussy buzzing ONE QUESTION " If I masturbate will the bed shake too much to let him sleep? "
I know the answer. DAMMIT
4:15 his alarm rings. Finally! I can get a fast caress on my body. lord knows it's past time!
-"put your hand on my pussy please," i whispered.
he lay there contemplating.
I enjoined his hand to show that i meant business.
he complied.
gotta love a man who complies.
I came in about 2 minutes. that only made me want more.
" I crave to taste your sweet pussy " he said.
mmm
I wanted some cock.
I wanted to feel his hot cum burst onto my heart between my breasts.
he was willing.
so LOUDLY we agreed this was hot!
switching midstream to masturbate ourselves while watching the other.
HOT MAN STANDING over me jerking in my direction is etched in my brain forever.
HUH.
he was ... emm late to work.
mmmm hot sex makes a good V day celebration.

v day this day

2006-02-20T18:55:00.000-02:00

I warned Darren there'd be no further blogging until he gave me one measley comment. boy that was a surprise! I expected something fully salacious. got something entirely different. you gotta love a man who always surprises.

In the aftermath of your condo flooding.

Dearest sweet D ,

Well my love, we have had our first valentine’s day. funny, I never thought we’d share any romantic moments from the way we started out!
I could never have guessed when I went to meet you for the first time that I would find in you a wonderful pleasant companion full of stimulating ideas, and fun.
I confess that on that very first date I was already very impressed by who you seemed to be as a human being.
One of the things I deeply treasure is our devotion to principles of spirit rooted in christianity. I love that we can pray together and seek god directed answers alone and together. I so enjoyed our long talk in the sunshine about what we think of God and the afterlife.

It is so amazing to me that as time goes by , I only feel closer and more respectful of you. I grow in greater awe of the man you are and all of your things that make you you.

your presence in my life has been a fantastic blessing for which there are really no superlatives eloquent enough to fully measure.

In a time when things would by outter appearances seem bleakest, you have illumined my life with the power of love. We have had our struggles, for sure. Sometimes the love seemed a little faded by what I imagine to be the places in our hearts that were hanging on to fear.

I am proud whenever I am with you to know that you are the one beside me. I know you are my protector and my loving friend-partner.
I can’t imagine wanting anything different. I want alot more of the same
more time with you , to play, laugh , learn things, discover new things, to kiss and caress, to talk and to be ...

I love you.
you are now etched in my heart and where ever I go, you are with and in me.

Happy valentine’s day and 7 and a half months of being together!

Love always,

Blessings

2005-11-11T20:40:00.000-02:00

Every now and again, particularly when times seem tough i like to count my blessings.
so if you don't want to learn how this magical trick works. You should stop reading right now.

Today thanks to having a chronic pain illness , I got to spend time with an amazing doctor who spoke to me about lakota traditions as a way to think of healing.

So my first blessing is the great luck of finding a wonderful doc who avoids prescribing drugs, if i am open to that.

my second blessing is that i inherited amazing genes from my 93 year old dad who is alive 6 months after they told him he'd die. This is a guy who still gets laid, ( often more regularly than I... He says "god gave me a good chemical plant, I don't want to mess it up with drugs"

last year , I was told my cholesterol was high. I refused to take drugs. I did not change my eating habits significantly. I did visualize my arteries being free of plaque and my blood pumping through my veins unfettered.

and this year, the numbers say I am well. yeay! Ok I have not invented the wheel, but when times are tough.. it helps to think of all the things that are good.

when people are throwing tomatoes, make lemonade!
I have a man in my life who calls me " the woman he loves" matter-of-factly. He is a loving presence, always. If we have a point of discomfort we take turns speaking our perspectives and lovingly find solutions together... He is a good lover with a few surprises up his sleeve. He is a generous and kind spirit.

Whenever i think of how his presence that is awesomely respectful, I marvel. ( even when he orders me to suck his cock!)

its been a while since I took orders... hmmm

back on track though
I am also lucky that i have a roof over my head that offers me a yard where i try to make things grow... Some grow great some don't.

I seem to do best with things that are half dead when i get them.

lastly, i have an opportunity to do service in several arenas. Someone has asked for life coaching. I am excited to provide it.
also, the organization i volunteer with is in need of more assistance. So, for fun , I help people who are incarcerated or illegally detained create legal cases they can use to fight for civil rights.

the down side is that I have to process horrendous horror stories of how people get killed by the system out of meanness, insecurity, and laziness.

the up side is that they sometimes make multiple millions which hopefully starves the abusive beast.

my life is full of love and blessings.

I have had a chance to find out who my true friends are... That is also a reward.
It is important to learn how to channel my energy in things and people who are positive and receptive so that we can make the light grow. Love is the only power and truth . Nothing else is worth putting energy into.

my doc told me a good story. He put his hands out and said :"see this space?"
-"uh huh"
-"I want you to direct all you attention to it right now."
-"ok"
-"tell me what you see"
_"nothing, or carpet."

he said :"right, this nothingness is peace. you can come to it anytime 24/7"

I clapped.

awesome doc!

I did have some pretty hot sex last night, too. might as well call it blessing.

thank you world for all the blessings heaped on me. We only can reap what we sow. I am so blessed and lucky. I am alive. I am OK.

Toy play to the death

2005-10-17T02:50:00.000-02:00

On the way home from church, we decided to stop at the toy store.

the same sexy lesbian was on duty again.

Darren and I were hunting an ass toy that vibrated for him.

every so often we would stop to discuss what we'd do with this or that, then make out, then continue shopping. We decided to get him a rotating pearl vibe.

We figured i could try it too. He was kind enough to also buy my first butt plug.

the store clerk started walking me back to the vibrator aisle where she instructed me which vibrator i might like and how to apply it to my clit...

Next time we gotta take her home!

as soon as we got home, i found him half clothed on my bed.

he was eager to get some ass play , and oh my Gd that's HOT!

in no time his legs were up. I lubed his ass,encouraging him to do himself.

meanwhile the sight of the penetration was irresistible. I had to swallow his cock.
he threw his head back and moaned.

as i sucked hard and steady , his eyes rolled back. I wished i was the cock in his ass.

"there it is": white sticky, yummy come shooting on my breasts, as he likes. His eyes widened, then he let his body go limp.

it looked like so much fun , I wanted a go at it.

he teased me, touching my pushes outer lips softly. I was dripping wetness , he acted as though he didn't notice.
I felt the need to advertise:
" can you feel how hot I am ?"

uhhuh

can you see wetness in my pussy ?

-"uhhuh" he replied as he maintained his slow approach

-"is it glistening"? i tried to rush him.

-"uhhuh" he resisted

as he continued slowly stroking the outer lips and touching my nipples in his wicked way that makes me want to cum.

later still he asked " do you want me to lick you?"

-"oh yes, please." ( he likes the use of the word please, this is no time to mess up my lines)

he started flicking his tongue softly against my clit.

then looked over toward the toy.

I grabbed every toy and accessory laid out on the bed.
pearl rotating vibrator
ass plug
lube
condom
and digital camera

I set them next to him
he grabbed the pearl toy.
i rolled the condom on

lubing it was a group effort.

he began inserting it... then turned it on

oooo, i shuddered

"are u all right?", he asked
mmmmm yes

in no time i was coming and the motor sounds would slow like a warped cassette tape.

i said i think my pussy is slowing it down.

mmm hmmm
he replied

we laughed and i came laughing
damn that was hot. maddie the laughing comer came to mind.
as i laughed it seemed to jam the ass plug up farther.

ahh hah uhn ha uhn

I came and came and came for forty minutes without ceasing.

the toy buzzed , then slowed then buzzed then slowed
until...

there was a slowing followed by a click

I killed the toy
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The Dom shows

2005-10-13T20:42:00.000-02:00

"can i come over?", i asked

-"i'm pretty drunk , but yeah, let yourself in when u get here, honey".

i found him in his boxers, sprawled out on the floor with his humonguous hard on.

i said :"horny?"

he nodded with sparkling eyes.

"you're not tired?", i continued

"not when you're here, "he replied.

I grabed his hand and enjoined :
-"come'on horny boy, I'm getting naked.... but i am not horny"

-"i'm not up for anything, anyhow" he replied as he eagerly followed.

as soon as we laid down, he started with the words.

" i'm so lucky to lay down next to such a beautiful woman... with a sweet pussy...it makes me so hot... Do you feel how hard I am ? How hot i am ?... that's for you... when you're ready"

I was getting wet, but i pretend he had no effect on me.

he reached for my breasts, whispering " your breasts are so beautiful"

i moaned.

"...i love to lick your sweet pussy ...and drink every drop of your juice...

and watch you shake and moan when you come... " he continued.

i chimed in : -" i love it when you talk to me...mmmm..."

-" i love to talk to you and to feel you shiver... get hot and wet... i am gonna talk to you about all the things I want to do to you... to your body and how i feel ...and about our future..... as sexual beings......
I wanna be your toy...your sex toy... entirely at your disposal ...to do with as you please. "

I was writhing and moaning , with my eyes half closed, and goosebumps on me.
he went and done it now! gave me the green light wink to be in control of the action. i am up or that!

" i want you to suck my breast", i commanded

he began licking and sucking my left breast as he handled my right one.

mmm he is so good i can almost cum on contact.

I held back.

he stopped to say " I want to take my time with you "

"YES !...lick my stomach!" i commanded, as i shoved his head toward my belly button

"that's right! "...
"do it good !Just like I taught you "..."That's good"

I grabbed his head roughly ,to move it again .

he tried to lick my other breast.

I shoved his head out of the way with my arm. I wanted him to tease me better
i was starting to get very excited, with every shoving of his head, my body tingled more intensely.
I never so fully enjoyed dominating, I was on fire hot and he was not complaining.
damn that was hot.

I kept control. I didn't want to hurt him, only to give the illusion of intransigence.

he teased me expertly ... i was so turned on that my entire body was tingling and buzzing.

the roughness he was taking made me want to give him more.

i grabbed his head with both hands firmly above his ears, i forced it to my hot pussy and shouted sternly
"LICK IT!"..."NOW !"..." DO IT... RIGHT NOW!...mmm Yes that's right, lick that wet pussy like you want every drop, drink it all, i saved it for you "

mmmmmm

he moaned louder than ever.
it made me hotter.

"that's right, you like it don't you!"

-"mmmmm",he moaned
that made me very close to cumming
"SAY IT AGAIN !, I barked
DO IT !
-"I muufff larffve to eat yourfff pussy."

-"mmmm that's right, don't stop....get it baby...get that pussy... you are gonna make me come so hard..."
aaaaaah ... I screamed ,flailed and came knowing he had control all along, through his submission.

what a good boy.
*sigh*

stud lessons continued.

2005-10-06T21:27:00.000-02:00

"can you take our picture?" i asked the waitress.
sure are you on vaction? she retorted.

Why must people have a reason to be affectionate in public , i wondered. What an odd notion! you can only kiss if on your honeymoon, or on vacation... how sad for them.

the sexiest thing about dinner was when it came time to leave the restaurant.
Darren said " give me a minute, i have an erection."
-So soon?"
"just being near u makes me horny", he answered.

Once we were able to leave the restaurant, we walked hand in hand sitting by the water downtown, soaking up the moon and stars while he bathed me in compliments which definitely increased my pulse rate.

i adore spending time with him, he is smart , sensitive, astute about the world and attentive to me.

on the drive home, each red light was occasion to grab breast or vagina.

A boy must have what a boy wants when he is driven by the force of a dick that has not come all day.

I understand this.

yet, my delicate female sensitivites need a little more in the way of creating desire. At least for this night. I had not come in days. I wanted and expected a long slow night filled with enough orgasms to make me forget my name.

so i explained:" honey, we have all night."

-"I am trying, it's just really hard.", he answered enthusiastically.

-"ok, but i really want you to control my desire, "i smiled.
..."i want you to have me thinking "thank god " when you touch my breast...
not' What the fuck ? he just grabbed my boob!"
he nodded knowingly.

this , ladies, is where my patience mixed in with his talent at learning have paid off BIG!

he continued driving keeping his hands in PG places and predictably, i want more. However, he does not further investigate. he continued his innocent "discovery tour"

until he made me ask " Will you take me home?"

"yes"HE answered without pause.

mmmm , now he was speakin my language.

i lead him to the bedroom as soon as we entered home. For his reward, and to make him feel my desire, I decided to undress him.
langourously, caressingly, i slide his clothes off his body.
his cock stood at atention the entire time.
i reached in his boxers. Took what i wanted and played stroking the part he says is mine, for now.

Since now is all we have, that's good enough for me.

i took my own clothes off in order to retain control.

no point in sharing. i know the man.

when he is horny he is like a jet plane on a mission to my pussy. the only way to make it a bus tour is to get him off.

so, while he tried to suck my breast, i knelt to suck his cock.
the mirror was our witness. he asked for his glasses to have a better view.

I love that he is unashamed of his turn ons, this inspires no end of mischief in me.

i kept to the sucking , slow steady as he likes.
a firm grip for cheating because the boy is bigger than my mouth.

he laid down. I switched it up, jerking his hot cock while i began to rim his sweet ass.

The entire time he encouraged me with:

"I love it when you lick my ass, mmm that's so good.
i love your hand so soft on my cock...
until i am drowning in a sea of hot talk.

he can get me started with a few carefully chosen sentences. he knows it.

he said " can you feel my come rising? I love to see your beautiful tits."

-" i love to watch you come and shoot on me, on these nice jiggly tits that are all for you", i encouraged.

joining my words to deed, i begin to purposefully jerk it, while jiggling my breast with my wrist. he watched, hungry.
i love to find new ways to excite him and please him.

he laid back:
"there it is!"he calmly stated; white milky hot come served up fresh for me. mmmmm

he smiled with glee, sat up to hold me close.

i love that he is unashamed of his emotions.
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happy anniversary!letter to super stud

2005-09-24T09:18:00.000-02:00

September 24, 2005

Sweet Darren,

Two months ago to the day, we made love. When we met, I had warned the only way you were going to access what you called the holy grail was to induce sufficient desire in me. What you didn’t know is that my won’t power is enormous and i had never given in to that in the last six years of my life.

I do not choose lightly to connect my energy that intensely to someone else’s.

So, two months ago, I was probably just as scared as you when we consciously chose to be a part of each other.

The fact that my entry is a one finger area of petiteness and that you carry a large umm love tool, was cause for real anxiety considering you had not been schooled in the ways of using it...

until that moment, I thought I had carefully chosen you because i reasoned that there was no possible way we could become emotionally involved. I could teach you the treacherous ways of some women and send you out into the world an awesome, sensitive, wise man with magical powers...

One of my friends says that proof of God’s sense of humour is the fact that he allows us to make plans...

Well, here I am. I’m living today an entirely different situation than i imagined. You have been so impressive with your honesty and earnestness. I rely on your soft sweet kiss, your hug and your soft caressing hand to light up my heart.

You have been a port in the storm with your simplicity and willingness to just be there.

While my dad is dying i am learning there is life at a wonderful level!

By letting go of preconceived notions and focusing on my present joy and happiness with you , I have learned the meaning of fulfilment in the moment.
and my sweetie, the moment is all we ever have.
While my happiness does not depend on you , it is inclusive of you.

Finally , the more i write words, the more I realise no particular arrangement of them adequately expresses how joyful, excited and grateful i am that we have found each other in the vast ocean of human souls.

Your respect toward me, gentleness and consideration have so much to do with why I am always wet for you!
You are in my heart.
Love

Your honey, Frenchy
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polyamory , seriously.

2005-09-11T22:42:00.000-02:00

Darren had been ignoring my needs. Nate had been attentive. I saw the perfect solution.
Let Nate be the man he wants to be in my life and let Darren be who he wishes.

Hence, I remain the recipient of enough attention to feel fulfilled. Hopefully between the two suitors i'd get enough sex to remain satisfied.

If Darren couldn't be compassionate for my high sex needs, then maybe I should stop waiting for him to take care of me...

I am mature enough. I can control my head and heart, I thought. ( never mind that i have emotionally involved myself with Darren in spite of my plan to the contrary)

Darren keeps saying " he wants my happiness even if it's with someone who is not him".

I feel loved when he says it, but man , there should be more to loving than the willingness to let me go.

He recognized his insecurity as related to someone else being willing to do what he has forgotten to do: " pay attention to me".

as we spoke, he was eager to send me off into the arms of another. Perhaps it seemed easier than rising to the challenge of feeling worthy of the awesomeness that I sometimes represent.

At the end of the day, I recognized I have visited polyamory before.

as someone feels threatened, they withdraw or attack which skews the relationship in their disfavor once it is open.

it is natural to feel a certain amount of that. We all have fears about allowing the possibility of heartbreak in our lives.

Ironically, my experience tells me the juiciness of love cannot be accessed in its all its glory without willingness to lay our metaphorical necks on the chopping block.

Marianne Williamson wrote when we are at the eve of love our ego screams out in fear that we will die. It tries to keep us feeling alone ( godless).

however, the juiciness of love comes from feeling safe, comforted, belonging, adored, admired...

as long as we wear a shield or mask that prevents us from being fully naked, we cannot feel the soalce of full acceptance; mostly because we have yet to find acceptance of self.

As long as I hold back, i can tell myself" if he knew the real me, he would not like me as much". Therefore, in hidding, i effectively convince myself to remain insecure, unsafe...etc.

As I wrestle with my willingness and unwillingness to be vulnerable more deeply,I choose monogamy ( this involves saying " I hurt, I fear, I am bruised, I dont like and I wish ...") .
For me, it is the more scary choice. therefore, it makes sense to chose the challenge.
I have spent enough time running from my fear that I am unloveable. The only way to overcome it is to be willing to show all my warts and see if the person hangs around, still treating me lovingly.

while polyamory is a concept I endorse; for now, it will only compound the problems we have. My accepting a new partner will only confirm Darren's fear of not being worthy of me while confirming my insecurity that no man can love me for who I am.

my new choice: i might be mature enough to practice monogamy, while allowing for the freedom that theoretically allowing an occasional third in our bedroom might be fun.

The fact that Darren is willing to reflect on tehse issues and take action according to his conscience endears him to me more.
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Fuck buddy suggestions

2005-09-10T13:04:00.000-02:00

So here's my fuck buddy advice:
If someone asks you to have a sex only deal with them.
1) find out if you want the same kind of sex and be honest with yourself and them.
2) this is not dating. Politeness is excellent. Bull shit is too much.
politeness = thanks for coming/ thanks for having me
Bull = you are the best I ever had, I think I could fall in love with you...Etc

3) hygiene is a must. Wash your entire body with soap and water, use a wash cloth if necessary IN and AROUND your ass, between your toes... The way your momma taught you.
4) I like for my toy to look appealing when I arrive. I always do the same for him or her.
I greet them in the nude or with whatever their visual preference is.
5) Horniness is not on a schedule. I will call when u are desired.
say yes and I will call again.

if you have to ask me on Monday if I will be horny on Friday... Don't bother. THAT is called dating or boring.

If I wanted to date you, I would. So no need for restaurants or gifts. That's a boyfriend's place. Not a boy toy's.
If you can be conversational great. BUT I am not there to care about your trials and tribulations. If I were, we'd be having a real relationship.
I will keep my personal crap to a minimum and hope you'd do the same.

when it comes to whatever I agreed to do for you sexually, guidance in technique is encouraged.
if you don't get pleasure it's your own fault.
Monday morning quarter backing is cool and hot.

Best man toy ever: nicknamed Mr. Tongue...

I call , ask if I can come over, he says yes.
He is wearing what we agree is good. We kiss once or twice , sometimes watch some girl on girl porn..
I tell him it's time to lick me. He does it. I have never slept there more than 1 hour, if at all. Then I get up and go home. He politely offers I stay. He knows I will graciously decline.
sometimes he talks a little.
he likes my pussy and I like his tongue.
This is a beautiful thing! We met 4 years ago. We took a 1 year sabbatical. We never hassle each other or disrespect each other. The day after he often sends a message to say how much fun it was, finding a new compliment to share each time...
I know he has other things to keep him happy , such as cocks to suck and couples to do... He knows I have had some couples and pussies in my life too. We have always been honest with each other.

during that year sabbatical, I attempted to adopt a younger boy toy(32 yr old) to make the world a better place for women... As it turned out, I had no patience.

I know some will say that so many women pretend to want casual sex so they can hook you into a relationship... However, men try to use that trick often in order to gain boyfriend status in my world. Honesty really is key to good sex. personally, i choose my fuck buddies with the greatest obvious possibily of non attachment. It's a plus if they are unattractive.
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now you know...the kind of woman I am

2005-09-10T00:24:00.000-02:00

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Killing medicine

2005-09-09T18:39:00.000-02:00

Another visit to the VA for a so called routing check up of dad's cancerous process.

he manifested a slight rash on his forearms , so this doctor thought it would be a good idea to give him steroidal cream to prevent the itching.

of course steroids weaken immunity. A weakened immune system would allow cancer cells to grow more quickly... But hey, why care?

my sweet daddy was there, insisting on walking on his own.

At home, he rarely leaves his chair.

As we waited for the nurse to check his vital signs, he shared the growing discomfort of the fluid filling his body, pushing on his organs.

he's not a complainer, though.. So he says look! My stomach feels like jelly!

I just had ribs for dinner last night...

I think soon mine will be good too!

I smiled holding back tears.

looking at this man I love,

appreciating how amazing he is to throw humor into this dramatic situation.

while he faces death that comes slowly, day by day.

how will I ever be this wise?

I understand the wisdom in being gracious in the face of horror. It helps others feel better.

I am struck with the thought of how I will miss him, miss our laughter. i wish he were willing to give up his shield and let me in on the pain.

the doctor entered the room...

said He can have more steroids if he wants.

I insist the doctor explain this so called medicine is only meant to manage a symptom . it has no curative effect. ( unlike my father's fantasy would have him believe)

I express my concern at using steroids with effects on the immune system.

Doctor genius says " your daughter's right... If you have two things that are equally efficacious , it makes more sense to use non steroidal lotion."

he has completed his long winded technical discussion which my father did not understand with stating" I have scheduled you to see a surgeon so you can get a biopsy".

-"ok", says my dad

-"I thought you were opposed to a biopsy due to the risk of the spread of cancer cells, "i add

the doc chimes in
" no ! "

in conclusion this guy explains that dad has not deteriorated as would have been expected. He is doing well, therefore we should investigate."

mind you, this guy has to fill in little boxes in his computer to show how EFFICACIOUS he is at his job. He is disturbed he cannot come up with a prognosis.

net result: although my dad has informed this guy on 5 distinct occasions that he wants no treatment, the Do no harm doc has pushed and bullied to get the opposite outcome.

he wants to do stuff to this ninety three year old man's body that will cause him to die faster because his computer boxes will be filled.

research into medical journals reveals a few interesting facts.
1) of several groups of patients with cancer, 10% had matastasis prior to needle biopsy.
60% had metastasis after a biopsy.

2) only one percent of the population has the kind of cancer this doc wants to look for.

3) dad has already tested positive in a blood test and radioactive iodine test for cancerous tumors. The radioactive test is highly reliable.

the needle biopsy yields inconclusive results 35 to 40 % of the time.

SO, it's not hard to deduce this man with a diploma does not have daddy's best interest at heart.

after that parenthetical analysis, I can only say it's torture enough to say a long slow good bye to someone who has been love and joy to me.

Being emotionally and physically invaded by egomaniacs is not sitting well with me.

The fact that a person alone would be bullied into accepting the role of guinea pig at the cost of his quality of life is unconscionable.

meanwhile, I will keep watch, like a well trained Saint Bernard.

add to that, Darren is up to his old ways of forgetting his commitments to me in addition he 's taken to greeting me with a grouchy face because his days dont go exactly how he wants them to...

I just want someone to greet me with a smile and sex me up often. how hard is that ?

i give bonus points for intelligence, consideration and humor.

over all, not a happy fucking day.

VOYEURS

2005-09-06T15:22:00.000-02:00

as previously posted, it seemed some smarty pants aquaintances of Darren's have discovered my blog.

maddy says :"why do people have to be so godamned nosy?"

I say if you ever hope to get laid by one so knowledgeable and sexy-hot as maddy , realize nosy sucks in a bad way.

However, Uber-Darren has given the green light, declaring "if his friends read it, he is happy to be blogged rather glowingly and maybe his friends will learn something"...

so dear readers, i have re-instated Darren's return. and it has been endorsed by the one and only great God ess Madeline Glass. check out her well written hot blog!

Darren, the return

2005-09-02T00:55:00.001-02:00

It had been two weeks.
We mutually agreed to take time apart to think.
We had noted that we slipped on the slippery slope of emotional involvement.

For once, i was not opposed to exploring that.
If i had any sense i would be concerned.

Fuck, attraction is never about what makes sense.
not when there's chemistry.
it makes sense later.

The way we talk is amazing. It is so rare to meet a person with whom very few words are needed in order to arrive at a place of mutual understanding with a simultaneous heart connection...

so, in under 20 minutes we have effectively expressed where we are and where we want to go.

he misses what we had when there was sex and post orgasmic talking.

he misses the intimacy.

i miss it too.

In lieu of desert I propose we make out.
i often enjoy the dramatic effect of making some provocative proposition in an offhand way.

we embraced after taking 2 steps. his soft lips are on mine. they greet with a familiarity that leads to the intensity that comes from deliberate pacing.

my lips part to welcome him in. his toungue slowly enters and finds mine. they dance together sensuously .

soon we are swirling them in absolute synchronicity.
i am hooked.

i merley say

" you are a great kisser

he replies

i was taught well., as he subtly pushed his hard cock against my pelvic bone.

Uber stud, the return

2005-09-02T00:25:00.000-02:00

He greeted me with kisses. I said "Hi! Now, lick my pussy!"
he mumbled about not having enough time to put his phone and wallet down.
so I playfully said "never mind, I'll just feed you dinner!'

I am too easy for him, I thought

we stood in the kitchen waiting for his dinner to warm. He had been kissing me while caressing my thighs and the side of my torso.

It's a huge turn on to feel someone run their hand down the length of my curves. I had never mentioned it.

I hopped up on the kitchen counter, asked him to express in detail what kind of ideas he got from the new position.

he complied easily:" it's the perfect height for me to suck and lick your breasts... Or also I could love your clit..."

I am thinking that is an awesome expression. Words turn me on ... This is no secret between us.
on the second encounter I mentioned that if he expected to have me, he should get comfortable with language...

a part of me is thinking: that sounds nice , but you probably have no clue how to ACTUALLY love my clit. Though, i would like to experience it.

However, I kept my mouth shut. I do my best to help him feel confident and secure. I simply smiled and used my imagination while he had his tongue in my ear, exploring so well my pussy was getting wet.

he took me to the bedroom unhurriedly.
just what I needed that night. It had been a while since we took our time with each other. Quickies are not a way of life for me.

his kisses were so intimate, warm and varied... The anticipation mounted steadily.
I noticed I don't critique in my mind anymore... I just let myself flow. He is in tune with my body and its desires.

we were making out as if no goal was in mind. I totally enjoyed each sensation in the moment.

his mouth found its way to my nipple. While the pleasure is familiar, it seems everytime he adds some twist and I am surprised at where I go.

"I love your beautiful breasts"...
words always take me a bit farther. His are varied and hot.

I think I want more intensity, though. However, I don't say anything, just let the moment be...

moments later, I noticed my pelvis rhythmically going up and down , then my lower back began to arch as his mouth was glued to my breast.

already? Will I come?, I thought

he pressed his mouth harder on my tit.
I was in an unfamiliar place between pain and pleasure. I thought to ask him to ease up, but something was delicious in the ardor and the stimulation.

his hand was now firmly grasping my left breast .

I began to writhe.
aaaaaaaoooh ,the loud sound that came from me surprised me. Indeed it's my first orgasm of the night and first one in 3 days.

" I want to love your clit... Please ...Please." he said in a speaking voice
wow ,it turns me on when his speech is loud!

I unintentionally whisper yes, then cry out "yes!" much louder.

He did not follow his usual route straight to my joy spot.

This was probably his best new trick of the night. ( he always seems to have one)

after making me intensely desire him, after begging me to taste my juice, he lingered caressing my body, kissing and licking my stomach.
he showed no signs of the urgency his voice had betrayed a moment ago...

I gasped in delight.

Suddenly, he put his tongue directly on my clit. It took me a moment to adjust. The pressure was hard which numbed me slightly.
his mouth is delightful... A woman knows and feels if a man truly enjoys her pussy and wants to be there.

this man wanted his face in my pussy.

it was a moment of joy and communion.

he pulled his face back slightly.
easing the pressure made me start to let out some loud sounds again.

I heard: "I want to watch you... you are so beautiful when you have pleasure... Ecstasy... turns me on..."

my excitement level , already high just shot up. Language stopped making sense.

the French and English began to merge in my brain.

Though I could not see his face clearly in the candle light,I knew the smile he was wearing, as he is becoming familiar to me.

That thought gave me comfort and warmth.

He entered me with his finger.

The penetration was so precise in pace and fit that I screamed, thrusting up while cumming the minute he hit my g spot.

I kept cumming for a while.

he kept licking me on his knees, in between my legs.

I started speaking French.

my mind was swirling, I was on my way to my own world.

there was French and other words and panting coming from me...

GOD...Oh my GOD...recurrred often.

I remembered reading that sharing orgasm with another person is seeing God.

Angels sing and clap when people make love.

we remember our own angelic state making love.
I smiled knowing GD was right there in the midst of us.

awareness hit. He was loving my pussy with his mouth.

orgasm black out, riding waves and seeing things.

I could barely speak st........op..........stop, i whispered, lost in unreality

disconnected from anything not orgasmic.

my body kept shuddering, panting, purring.

he held me close: " you're ok".... "Breathe."

I knew I was ok, it felt so glorious to go so far away and still know I was safe and ok.

I nodded to let him know.

words had left me in English...

I rolled him over
telling him
" that was amazing.. I went to a place I had never been"

I kissed him hard to signal my gratitude.

I had been wanting that cock for a while now.

I wanted to taste him , but knew he deserved better than a straight dive to his dick.
I kissed him on his collar bone.
licked neck, side, underarm, neck, balls , ass...

Finally! He let me lick his ass.

that is sooo hot!

I held off giving him a thorough rimming, as his body hesitated slightly.

I tasted his cock.
As previously mentioned,
I love that cock and love to suck it.

he started pleading " make me come!"

he did deserve to direct his own show.

pity , I was just getting started...

I grabbed lube, thought about getting a finger condom , but decided not to.

he let me caress and play around near his ass. I was so turned on , I could hardly contain my eagerness to wrap my mouth on his hard shaft.

he kept saying "yes, yes please oh please."

feeling him so open to his own pleasure was intensely hot for me.

a few weeks ago any stimulation below the balls brought much clenching to my great sadness.

the change was enough to make my brain orgasmically explode.

I began to penetrate his ass. Oh glory! As welcomingly responsive as a hot woman's pussy.

the g-spot is there.

I positioned myself to try Maddy's trick, adding pressure to the perineum. Nice trick, i wonder why i never thought of it before...( actually the trick is in Jefferson's blog) just as he noted, when i was doing it right, I knew it!

I sucked and massaged while grunting and making mmm sounds. It was so hot to feel his excitement!

he blurted "I want to come on you."

he gets what he wants because he gave me more than I hoped for.

I felt his ass pulse at about the same time I felt his dick pump up a load.

I barely had time to aim to my breasts...

seconds before he came, he uttered my now-favorite phrase: "there it is."

his orgasm was intense and quickly consumed.

he wanted no part of further stimulation.

he has not yet learned that trick.

He later mentioned he had intended to make the night about me, without any thought for his own orgasm.( admirable goal for one so young)

Better luck next time, baby!

I foolishly missed the opportunity to point out that he just learned what every stud lover knows.
when you make it all about her, she ends up making it about you.

Bets on whether or not he figured it out?

p-spot
prostate massage
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Mental foreplay

2005-09-01T15:37:00.000-02:00

A few days ago, a lovely new friend came to dinner.

He looks like a GQ model: tall, blond with blue eyes and a beautiful baby face that sports neatly trimmed facial hair. He used to be overweight as a child, so he's not
the " I-know-u-want-me-cause-I'm-hot-type".
he is compassionate, his soul has the kindness of one who knows suffering

My new friend Nate is the product of a hippie family.
he oozes love and acceptance.
It's a very sexy quality. He happens to be very smart as well.

He impressed me by arriving on time for our dinner.
I agreed to cook in exchange for computer repairs.

I went all out as I felt delighted that someone thought enough of my service to reciprocate by taking care of me.

Following our time together, which held a slight amount of sexual tension, I sent him a love e-mail as further thanks.

After all, although the agreed payment for services was dinner, he still volunteered to do dishes and participate in clearing the table.
He simply got up and did what needed to be done. mmm yummy.

This makes any woman I know horny.

I am guessing a certain number of men realize that fact.

Here's the email I sent:

I am so impressed with your consciousness. I do
sincerely hope you realize that when you shine, you
gift the world... There are laws of physics I could
quote.. but heck, I am sure you know it all already.

Since the first day I met you, I felt blessed to be in
your sphere. The fact I got to do it more than once
increases blessings exponentially.

I am looking forward to more of that.

thanks for coming over.

A few days later, I received a call from him. He said:
" I just wanted to call to say I am sorry I didn't respond sooner to your e-mail. I have been going through some stuff that's hard and I can't write words right now. But... I wanted you to know I have been thinking of you. "

we chatted a bit. When I closed with "-thanks for calling!"
he replied "-thanks for being there".
he is well skilled.
I love me some good mental foreplay!

Stud surprises

2005-08-31T01:33:00.000-02:00

I was in heat.

He knew it.

Kindly, he offered to come over as soon as he was finished working.

the door opened. I stood behind it for surprise.
i wore fishnet stockings, black pointy shoes with ribbon laces crossing over my calves, a black silk skirt and a grey embroidered bustier encapsulated my C cup breasts.

he expected me to jump on him as I had been texting him all day of my horniness.

instead, i sweetly offered him a drink as we sat and conversed.
( i like to keep the spice up)
later, i led him to my room. I allowed him to undress me so he could discover my garter belt.

I asked him what he thought.
he said in a deep voice "I think you spoil me", as he sunk to his knees...

-"yesss...I do"

he began to blow on my clit with his hot breath. he took in my scent.
boy has a sensuality about him as intense as a seasoned lover.
mmm
he has his own surprises...
sexblogs
foreplay

French dinner party

2005-08-25T23:54:00.000-02:00

We took our respective seats at the dinner party to which we had been invited.

a beautiful brunette with big green eyes and great breasts was seated next to me. My hostess had told me Dominique was bi. After saying hello she asked if it was true that my woman lived in another town and if i was happy. She put her hand on my knee as she asked.
she began caressing my leg under my dress telling me she had never been with an American before. She heard they were hot.

I kept repeating i had a wife to whom i was committed. Meanwhile,my inner thighs were getting juicy. My wife had neither touched me nor pursued me in months.

Dominique said she loved women and pussy. She wanted me... My mounting desire was pulsing through my body. I appetite for food diminished.

she insisted we use the hostesses bedroom, no one would know... My wife would not be hurt by what she did not know.

everytime i took her hand away, she set in down closer to my inner thighs , until she brushed up against my panties. I knew she could feel my wetness. She let out an audible mmmm.

i went to the kitchen to help my hostess friend.
i returned to find Dominique hitting on my friend Jerome.
I knew he had never had a threesome and wanted to try it.

my wife's rules were that i should seek sex away from her, as long as it was not an affair.

I had never been willing to betray my commitment, but alcohol is a great justifier.
lesbian
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wisdom wednesday

2005-08-25T11:19:00.000-02:00

There is nothing for us to do here but shine.

The pain is in the resistance.

I have a certain amount of energy and time to invest. I can invest it with people with whom I feel bad, or with people with whom I feel good.

hot subject

2005-08-20T23:22:00.000-02:00

you are so very welcome to leave comments. les amis de mes amis sont mes amis... unfortunately due to spamming nonesense, you will have to create an account.
I am always copying maddi... must be cause she is so hot!

friends?

2005-08-20T21:34:00.000-02:00

ok , I do love being pursued. i love flattery , attention... I dont know who doesn't.
But sometimes, i'd like to have a conversation with a man who claims to care about me wihtout getting the feeling he's only bidding time until my breasts become magically exposed.

here is a rant to all you men who are on the prowl online and in life.

If you think i look hot , I am probably not so desperate for a date that i need to answer an anonymous instant message.

i am not a whore, so buying me a bunch of stuff or offering expensive things won't get you laid if I am not attracted to you

when you speak to my chest instead of my eyes, i notice.

when you stare at my ass as i get up to use the restroom, i notice.

this is not a compliment. I am not a pocket pussy that vibrates.

just because i have heart and a genuine interest in your life does not mean i want to fuck you.

so, if you can just relax, act human, and remember that i am someone's daughter and someone's sister, maybe you have a shot.

FYI, if you think i look hot, it's ok to tell me, even cool.
i'll appreciate your genuineness, if it's respectful. ( comments such as you look so good i would fuck you right now are not welcome from strangers).

however, if I am in a 7 or higher rating, you can bet i have a fuck buddy waiting.

good luck.

a little help from my friend

2005-08-19T18:27:00.000-02:00

we had ignored the occasional sexual tension that came up after years of closeness and confidences shared. we often giggled like kids sharing a grand platonic love.

he saw my sadness when i announced i was thinking of leaving my femme due to a dead sex life that had been going on for months. she announced she preferred i seek sex elsewhere, but not have an affair.

he drove me home after the party. we often shared a bed like brother and sister...

as soon as my door closed behind us, our lips met. the kiss was hot, in perfect rythm. a first kiss so perfectly synchronistic is rare.

excitement was immediate. he was hard, i was wet. no matter how intense i was, it did not rush him. we stumbled toward the bed. we were making out like teen agers. hot and heavy, but clothed.

I said "you know there are things i won't do."
- "dont worry, i don't need anything",he replied

we kissed and gropped for about 30 minutes.

more aptly: he groped me, I grunted.

he did not let me touch his penis.

i was beside myself, panting with excitement.

my brain was floating.

heat was mounting, running waves in my body... only the sounds of our gasps were heard.

I couldn't believe a grown man of obvious experience was this turned on making out with me.

he was sucking my breast over my clothes, breathing on it. i was so excited i had to start taking my dress off.

he caressed my breast and kissed my stomach.

i took my bra off, needing his mouth on my tits.

i felt crazy with desire.

he worked slowly to put his mouth to my breast once more. this time to stay so long i thought that was all he wanted.

his toungue flicking my nipple as he sucked brought me a sensation that i recognized as orgasm on its way. i never experienced breast orgasm before...
my whole body was abuzz. my mind blank.
my pussy tingling and wet.
just before i was over the edge, he stopped.
he kissed my mouth
then my torso and stomach.
my hands caressed his upper body as he kept his groin off limits while keeping his pants on.

his toungue traced my stomach, then the line of my lower abdomen.
my hips went up to meet his face. he continued steadily licking my skin above my panties.
I was moaning.
I felt on the verge of insanity. I started wondering if he would take me at all.
i had a single thought: more mouth on me.

the only words tumbling from my mouth were "yes, oh yes, oh god yes."
he finally put the warmth of his mouth on my clit over my panties.
he rubbbed his lips on mine...
I coudn't stand not feeling his mouth on my skin.

I practically tore my panties off.

he licked in the crease between my thigh and my lips.

i coudn't stand it, i had to beg. 'lick me please"
his toungue swirled my clit.
hmmmh

"your pussy is beautiful," he said.

aaaahh

he explored the folds with his toungue.
"it tastes so good", he paused

mmmmmmmmmmmhhhhaaaa

i came
and came
and came
and screamed
and came
and screamed
he kept licking and then started licking my ass
which made me hot again
and i came
then he licked my pussy and i came.

four hours later, I begged him to stop, I was exhausted. I was sated for the first time of my life.
my male friend went down like a lesbian!
he asked if he should go home.

I told him i could not kick a friend out after he had so generously gifted me...

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Wisdom Wednesday

2005-08-17T23:35:00.000-02:00

Editor's Note
Wisdom Wednesdays will replace stud quote thursday until ?

me: when does sex happen easy without confusion?

Dino: alot

me: I want to know that trick.

Dino: just good lovin and see what tommorow brings

me: both pple have to be ready for real lovin

Dino: yup

Dino: rare

me: that's the trick.

Dino: no trick

Dino: just be

Dino: and dont expect the universe to last another instant

Venus in the morning

2005-08-15T23:57:00.000-02:00

After our meeting. We spooned all night.
She leaned over and softly pressed her velvet lips on mine;
then whispered " I know you prefer to go slow, but i would like you to know I want you"

In French the words "j'ai envie de toi " are so much sexier... "I desire of you".

My response: " moi aussi , j'ai envie de toi."

"may i caress you ?"she asked

"oui ", I gulped

we were staring into each others eyes. Hers were brown, like a benevolent fawn.

she let her small soft hand travel from my torso to my side, then drawing an invisible line with her finger on my arm...

the sexual tension was the most intense I had felt.
the taboo of being with a woman willingly, consciously was exciting.

I closed my eyes and let myself be transported by the pleasure of the caress and the tender feeling in my heart.

My clumsy little bear paw extended to touch her skin.

It seemed as if I felt a sizzle when i made contact.

My head got hot.
my pussy was juicy.
my lower abdomen tingled.

we had not yet even kissed, that morning.

she began kissing my face, my neck , my ear, my head....

I felt as if I was wrapped in a blanket of sensuous love.

So this is what making love to a woman is like !

MY GOD! womyn are goddesses... How did the knowledge of this escape me before this moment?

I am so blessed to learn this about me!

"Tell me what you feel in your body" she whispered.

words could not form in my mouth, language was in my haed jumbled.

"I am wetting", I said ( from the literal French "je mouille")

"mmm yes, that feels good " she encouraged without touching me there.

"where do you feel it? she asked

-"in my pussy and in between my lips. My pussy is pulsating, and i feel it slowly running down toward my ass..."

-"mmm I want to kiss it... May i kiss your pussy?"

-"Oh yes!"

she very slowly put kisses on my torso and stomach, as her hand started to find its way to hold ma chatte ( kitty)

"it is so soft", said she as she touched it...

her voice had a loving langourous tone...

as her face got close, she added ... "You have a very cute clitoris."

mmm my words left me...
i was incredibly turned on without any reservation....

my head was hot, my entire sex throbbed and was sopping with wetness before she ever touched any sexual parts.

she had gotten my mind involved.

if you ever have a chance to bed a French person, I highly recommend it ! I believe making desire mount is a part of their trademark...

her face came closer finally , as she began to lap at my lips and clitoris... Oh the joy!

waves of pleasure surged through me...
as she licked and teased and fingered between my clit and lips.
When my ass was thoroughly drenched in wetness, she put her finger inside my pussy.

i began hard moaning by then... she looked into my eyes with her beauty
and said :"you are going to come, aren't you" ?

-"YES... oh YES "

with her finger where her toungue was , her eyes were glued to mine, she said
" yes, come, it feels good. mmm come, cherie!"

-"I AM GOING TO C...C.....CU...COMing!"

I threw my head back, screamed and shook as if I were animated by electrical shocks.

when my body calmed and I was surprised by my vulnerability, before i had time to be afraid , she was wrapping me in her arms as if her body was a blanket of warmth.
Her breasts were amazingly generous.
her heart so warm and open....
so this is loving a woman!
it seemed I had just found heaven

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Break for blessing count

2005-08-14T23:20:00.000-02:00

many family members converged to visit my father while he is still alive and retains most of his mental functioning.

i understood that it was a time for healing one of the family's unspoken subjects. I intuitively knew it was not my time to be there. Also, My gold digging mommy dearest keeps threatening to visit. I know my gallant father is not as inclined to speak truth about " that beautiful woman" when i am near by.

My dad raised his brother's daughter, Bunny , as his own after she was abandoned by her own mother.

She has lived her life visiting "cousins " who were in fact her half siblings.
I have lived my life told to call someone sister who my mother would say is " really just your cousin".

The last funeral was painful to many of the grown ups. I was still adolescent then...

so, after a platonic day spent in the company of now-friend-Darren... I got my butt out of bed way early and over to visit the crew.

I used to pretend my cousin Jaimie and I were sisters.

I volunteered to drive her and her mom to the airport. My beloved English aunt who helped as a resistor during world war 2, is an awesome lady. She was a source of love in my childhood. She treated me like a person ... Just like my dad did.

I never want to miss a chance to say "i love you and this is what you mean to me today" because tomorrow may never come... I learned when i was three years old that you can be standing next to someone you love one minute and a minute later, that person is gone forever.
you get to live with how you left things in the last moment you were together.

what struck me today is how lucky I am to be part of a family where everyone encourages the other and speaks well of each other.

Man when i was a kid, i LOVED those people... When my mom kidnapped me away to a foreign country, she told me " they were not my real family".
Today, for the first time ever, it dawned on me that abusive people use such tactics to isolate their victims in order to entreat the victim to them.

Ironically, after years of brainwashing , i believed her. Now, she acts as if I do not exist. In effect she has cut me off of what she professed was my only family.

God! This is a great time to know reality.
my father's deathing is giving me a piece of history back.

i am proud and honored to know I come from a fabulous genetic pool with a long history of people who fought for what was right and never left the little guy out.

we are individualists, pioneers, nutty for love and Goodliness.
my mom came from an ugly duckling place... She tried to pass on her insecurities as a way of coping with them... Now the spell is broken.

ding dong the witch is dead...

meanwhile,
I am ridding the wave of the depths of love.
it's a cool thing to see a piece of my father ( the patriarch ) in every one of those people. It dawned on me that the hippies were right, reproducing is a great way to have a revolution by rearing enlightened children !

love today, encourage today, tomorrow might be too late.
Family
love
dying
hippies

So the story ends

2005-08-14T18:30:00.000-02:00

here is the email I sent my friend dino re: darren friday aug 12, 8 AM.

Dino,

ick i have emotional hangover...

thinking about the joy and the pain today... i know Darren does not " mean to hurt me".. I am fond of saying the issue is that the intention is not directed to protect from hurt. As in he didn't mean to NOT hurt me"... I have said that very line to so many people.

fuuuuuuuuck.
I was enjoying having fun sex. Had not done it in a long long time...
i am gonna miss someone holding me and looking at me with eyes that care.
i feel sad.
i wish i knew how to take what i like and make no issue of the rest. Unfortunately, each time an appointment is missed, i feel lower. i don't like tears in my eyes. And it is a lie that pain is the price for love.

part of me wants to go back to my snail shell and just not bother coming out.
loving you makes me realize there is so much more love in the world... And it makes me so sad...

somehow it seems not to make intellectual sense , but in my heart it goes together.
i keep thinking about how he wants to save someone, yet seems unable to save himself.
ouchy day for me.... i get so down when my heart hurts.... i just want to stay under my blanket and not talk to anyone.
and maybe eat some cookies.
bleck.
i am a little upset with myself that i allowed myself to enter into a situation where i could invest , thus feel the loss... At a time when this upheaval costs me a little closeness with my dad.

there is another way to perceive this, i know it.. I just can't find it... i know it starts with gratitude and non attachment.
I must trust the universe to provide the path and the end result that sets my heart free, Remember I am but a tool.
a peace-love spreading tool...
mmm i soothe...
well i guess i needed to vent.
looking into your eyes last night was a wonderful beautiful thing. Because i knew you were there with me in spite of your own swirling crap, with your high flying thoughts and all your distractions... You were still there.

it feels so good to be whole.
i know i give it, as you give too. Bless you. Let's heal .
love and peace.
V.

Dino wrote back:
"i know that want all to well
i havent been with a woman in a long time.
some times i wish i was willing to accept something less than what i want but its just not in me...peace and light

break up
friendship

angry pussy and prayer.

2005-08-14T17:41:00.001-02:00

well here it is.
the fourth tiime I have waited for a call at a certain time that never came. My own fault for letting the second one happen.

I felt my eyes sting when the half hour of lateness rolled by. we were to talk about our week end get away.
Instead I was alone, the phone had not rung. no messages or emails.

I made the mistake of trying to be considerate and let him know I was emotionally ok after a recent issue. I wanted to help him alleviate his guilt.

I did such a great job,I left his mind entirely. He never thougth of me or what i might have gone through.

SHIT I seem to often set myself for pain by being overly kind.

well i know this: I have no room for a man who makes me worry and want to cry.

Again i wonder is he in an accident? ( he drives for a living)
Am i just that disposable to him?
has he confused me with a whore?
Why am I thinking these horrible thoughts?
How can not keeping apointments be justified?

tonight I let it all go, These have to be the last tears i feel about feeling unworthy and unappreciated and worried...

I drove to his house with his books in a bag.. I need to cut it off.
No great sex is worth the pain of feeling put down...
No imaginary friend is worth these ongoing pains.
freindship is for kindness and consideration . NOT blow off.

the behavior is clearly saying i don't want to go away for the week end...
never mind what the mouth has said. grr

I am about a 10 second lapse in judgment away from finding a pussy licker.

WOAH . wait, that's real pain, i feel or i would not think the tought.

i called to ask what happened. he was at a party... I was so livid he answered something besides either come join me or I'll be right there. All i said was "what the fuck" five times in a row. followed by I am too pissed off to talk anymore.

He didn't bother trying to explain later... he didnt bother to make any attempts at offering compassion for my feelings.

my male friends advised me to say or do cutting things. I prefer to avoid the temptation.

Spiritual law is that what you focus on grows. I have no time for extra pain in my life.
I bless him and move on.

the next day, we met at my request.. Why prolong agony?
I was ready to tell him to take a couple weeks off to pursue his fantasy girl...

TID BIT RE: INSIGHT: if your mouth is saying one thing and your behavior another.. YOU ARE AMBIVALENT !
you might as well dig in and find out what your reservations are on the inside before you just dig a hole for yourself and run out of freinds who love you.

I prayed and realized the obvious:
he feels unworthy. I do not accept his view as my own. he feels the need to prove he is right so he has " How to lose good pussy 101" behavior.

just stand her up and fail to give her regular attention. Also, be sure and forget the circumstances in her life. never ask her about herself.

But i am not going to be turned into a punishing bitch just because he can't handle being seen as brilliant.

we parted lovingly as friends.
I honor the connection we have whether he does or not.
I behave like a lady whether he gets it or not.

I fucking fumed inside that I had only one week end in the past 8 months to take a break and he disrespected my time so that i am neither going away with him or on my own as i cannot make reservations the day before leaving.

all he said when i pointed out he should be happy i saved him the deposit money was " well it was not that much effort to get the refunds."
burning bridges... never productive.
i can only assume the boy has never felt the pain of real heart break and betrayal. Otherwise he would know how much easier it would have been to let him pay for what he broke.

i deserve to live with a pure heart, I leave him to his ways. you reap what you sow...

Forgiveness

2005-08-14T02:53:00.000-02:00

Written July 29, 2005

"you are only making me want you more," i said with supplicating eyes.

-"i know", he answered while keeping his finger on my clit.

mmm after all the irritation i felt over him not calling when he said he would... I was smiling once again.

What we have is infinitely cool, simple, warm , smart, funny and nerdy in ways only cool to us.

who else sings the Trogdor song?

I had arrived very hormonally grouchy. He was forewarned.
He did not know I insulted 3 drivers in French in very bad language while en route to him...

still, i couldn't help but be hungry for his kiss, once our lips met.

Boy has weird power over me.

It must have been the way his hand traveled gently down my side to languidly lounge in the small of my back. His touch draws me to him.

It's a fantastic gift that tops off days with extra goodness.

he also bought coffee ice cream for desert. (showing he noted I love good coffee and I made a comment about ice cream being a very cool thing to sex play with)

I can't help but forgive him.
Then he added the delayed "greeting compliment".

He said " it's good to see you. Any time I spend with you is always good." then added "even when you say you look a mess, you are still strangely attractive to me".

OK, give the student boy some points! It helps i take him at his word... My observant brain wonders if he loves spending time with me so much why he asks for so little of it... But i am not going to squash his budding ability to learn this compliment thing.

one of my acquaintances warned me I should be afraid of a gigolo type who lies about inexperience to get older women.

pfff, Darren has asked me for no money. He does not look to me to buy him stuff.

He cuddled me while i cooked. ( I do love to cook for an appreciative audience)
it's kinda like giving orgasms to a moaner.

i felt his erection. He has a nice cock. i know it by now... SO, as I feel it through his pants, I visualize the times I've had it before. I recall the size, the taste I love... The smooth softness... mmmmm.

once in the bedroom, I asked him how many times he masturbated today. He said none. He hoped to see me. ( made no effort to arrange such a meeting .. How strange.. Never mind... )

I was so turned on that he saved himself for me , I immediately started to suck him. He pushes me away.

"no!
i want to wait."

-"but i am turned on and I want you now!"

-"no, i want u to be more turned on!"

exploding orgasms ensued all around.
I left with a smile.
I drove home thinking i was ready to deprive myself of this easy smile over an issue of a phone call...tsss

give the boy a million points for taking responsibility for his part in things and for his easy going demeanor.

I was hard. I told him flat out.
"Anyone else would not get a second chance to make me feel disrespected."
I forgave him because I saw he genuinely forgot and because , until then, he had always treated me with respect.

one thing i know for sure is that it's my job to make myself happy, if I am to honor the gift of life that has been given to me.

I am a naturally happy go lucky person, i 'm not willing to be with someone for play or for real and pay with my happiness for companionship.

mieux vaut etre seule que mal accompagnee.

on the other hand, for someone worthy , I am capable of great sacrifice and undying loyalty.
Forgiveness is sweetly divine.

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fascination of elusive pussy?

2005-08-11T20:42:00.002-02:00

now, you know i like me some sex. I like it regular , hot and all the better if there is some funky twist in it.

however, this does not mean i walk around giving away my honey to anyone who wants a taste.

I am secure in my womanness. I need no worship. I appreciate sincerity and respect. That'a that.

Still i am amazed that grown men will play school boy games trying to throw my current lover under the bus in the hopes of getting with me.

do they think i am stupid?
do they think they look better casting shadows on another?

case in point. I am happy with my situation with Darren the amazing stud boy. ( he likes the nick name so... he can have it.

I am not worried what will happen next year. rarely does life unfold exactly as planned or anticipated.

So, i am content to take the good with the bad and enjoy the moment with this young man who is smart , funny, tender, and has a permanent hard on.. yet respect oozes from him and it might be his sexiest quality...

evil man asked today when i would meet the boy's mom. well hell i am sure no time soon. it's been a month and a half...
young boys fear that sort of thing, I say... In my tinkerbell wisdom...
besides why do you ask this question?
I hear evil boy's mind "reply uh oh, i best think carefully so she does not suspect i am undermining their affair....' his mouth says " well it seems like the logical next step...

he attempted to exploit my weakness as i shared my feeling of insecurity about my looks of my late 30's contrasting to his twenty something youth.
I have wrinkles, you know... ( i am the only who sees them , but never mind that)

evil man is married. he tells me he thinks he would like to run away with me when i move to europe.

he sees a gravy train , I know this.
I have no interest in having my ass kissed in exchange for money.
i dont need that much maintenance.

fuck, i love having a magical pussy that makes pple line up for a sample...
BUT i really dislike being treated like a fool or disrespected in my humanness because the pussy is built in.

if married boy used his brains, he'd know i would never consider him seriously. If you leave your wife of twenty something years for me, won't i be next on the list of people to leave?

why would i want to be with someone who thinks it's great to keep secrets from the wife?

UGH!!!!!!

sometimes i used to lay down with someone just cause they wanted to. it would get em out of my hair... err em so to speak...

now, i value my being and energy too much to spread it indiscrimantely. sharing energy can be messy business.

Why does my elusive pussy have such power of fascination???

I smell the betrayal a mile away!

stud quote of the month

2005-08-09T10:26:00.000-02:00

"football is great, but the company of a good woman is even better. "

ok readers, this may not sound sexy to you, but i promise you , my pussy tingled when i heard it.. and if his friends would not have been traumatized, i think i would have fucked him the instant he got done saying the words!!!!

That's hot!

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Meeting Venus

2005-08-08T00:47:00.000-02:00

Editor's note: you want to read more girl on girl stuff and anything about Darren. hmmm ? I hope you'll enjoy how i met my former wife, Venus. to take the poll click hereALL FOR YOU
see current results without voting:
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"...Tonight you will meet my gay friend Venus. She is the only gay girl I know."

my best friend wanted to show me she could handle me coming out to her... her attitude was rather frightening, honestly... but, she was trying...

when I first saw Venus, I noticed it seemed the only thing we had in common was that we liked sex with women. She was very butch and a little loud.

She was also very funny. I asked her to go with me to the women's place in town, since I was unfamiliar with the city. Before i knew what was happening, she was kindly calling every day to check on the progress of my trans-Atlantic move.

her caring concern was a welcome addition to an otherwise tough time with daily apartment hunting and trying to learn to be a grown up all over again without the benefit of anyone's guidance.

she invited me for drinks at her place to give me a change of pace from my regular host with whom my welcome was wearing thin.

After driving all around the city, I arrived an hour and a half late because of getting monumentally lost.

She welcomed me graciously...
She responded to my apology by stating " she was the one who was lucky to see me, followed by an apology for not coming to get me."

wow! This woman gets a medal for graciousness!

we drank a bottle of rum from Martinique each. She was making "petit punch" for me.

I sliced the lemon, she would crush and twist it with a spoon, adding sugar , then rum...

I love it when people show me the little signs of attentiveness...

We spoke about life, travel and politics... I thought she was so brilliant. Her graciousness was inebriating... Her smile sparkled warmly. She became beautiful.

we listened to Sade while laying on the floor.

the sexual tension was thick. I timidly reached over slowly to hold her hand. We laid on the floor, her hand in mine.

time stood still.

She leaned over toward me and most gently touched her velvety soft lips to mine.

i felt as though i was transported into a dream.

i opened my lips, she rolled over me, we gently touched tongues then we
swirled softly in synchronicity. She instantly became angelic as my mind formed the thought :" I was meant for this"...
I saw stars.

we slept in her bed where I told her i was not comfortable making love to her just yet.
By morning, we consumed the night's tension.

Les mots

2005-08-07T17:36:00.000-02:00

Sometimes words jumble and inner cellular structure swirls fast.

sometimes i am aware of my humanness filled with imperfections.

Truly the journey is not about being perfect, it is about acceptance...

here I sit at the border between two lands.

two states of consciousness.

Darren informed me he had the visit of the one he covets. She has fled from the evil boyfriend. This is the day he has been waiting for.

What started as sport between us has become a bond.

just as he treaded deeper into the water of his bond to me on Friday night, here she came on Saturday.

Just as I breathed into his awakening to me, I spent the day with a friend who has astounded me and turned me inside out.

we *connect* . Dino and I have a spirit connection that defies words.
we have probably both spent a great deal in time of study regarding the spiritual laws of the universe as they inter relate to concepts in physics.

as I feel underwanted in one place, i feel deeply desired in another.

Such a challenge to follow spirit without attachments!

ces mots sont ridicules.
mon ame parle francais.

in my depth is the voice of fear.
he wants her.

on the second day of our acquaintance, he said when she came to him, he'd be finished with me.

the rage
how can anyone NOT want ME ?

the wisdom
hello? you are making all this up!
he has said nothing today of this.

the fear
I have wrinkles.

the insecurity
there is solace in being with a man of experience.

the wisdom
I have tried many of experience and have been much less connected in mind and heart than i have been with darren.

the fear
this is doomed to failure; society has not drawn the road map.

the wisdom
you can have any life you want.

the insecurity.
I have never been fully known and loved.

STOP !

aujourd'hui, meditons...
je chante des chansons en francais.

je l'aime. l'amour n'est pas toujours easy.
parfois l'amour fait mal. mais nous aimons malgre ca.

see jefferson's blog "if, revisited," for similar but different ponderings.

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stud quote thursday

2005-08-04T13:48:00.000-02:00

my cock loves you

don't suck my cock it's too chaffed.

that's fucking team work! ( as his finger stimulated my G-spot while i fingered my clit. )...

Ode to Stud cock

2005-08-02T02:45:00.000-02:00

Editor's note: When i first read madeleine's post, I though the girl was exaggerating for effect. my! what a difference a cock makes!

MMM yummy. Gotta have it for lunch and dinner.

I am cock crazy.

If you knew me you'd know that I generally think of penii as unattractive, some even repulse me. Cocks take after their owners, I guess.

I have met very few that I thought were pretty or sweet.

This cock, is the sweetest of all.

It is Daren's cock of which I speak.

My friend Monte commented " So you suddenly discovered cock?"

-"Indeed" I solemnly replied as if I never came out to him years ago as a lesbian.

First of all, the cock in question is ALWAYS super clean and tasty.
It's not soap or piss flavored neither cologne nor excrement stinky...

It is simply real-man-tasty-clean-wanna-suck-it-all-day-long-grade-A-yummy.

Admittedly, I want to do other things to it such as: touch it, caress it, squeeze it ever so gently- yet with a firm grip, as he likes it.

I have even developed an overwhelming urge to ride it.

I have been disinterested in the whole penetration prospect for many years.

this is a grand cock, an iron cock at times...

the owner of the cock is learning he wields a mighty power he should use with grace and gentle care.

A male lover who genuinely concerns himself with a woman's comfort and pleasure is a treasure...

I can offer no logical explanation about this sudden change in my cravings.

The fact is plain: when it comes to Darren, I LOVE ME SOME COCK.

The more I get, the more I want..

I have turned from cock master into cock worshipper.

Well a worshipper of a single cock, it would seem:
the Darren-cock.

This cock is other worldly.

It often takes me there.

Dear readers,
please allow me to know your desire better. Click Here and answer a few questions so i know what kind of sexy or other stuff you want to read.

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torn

2005-08-01T00:43:00.001-02:00

I question the wisdom of giving of myself fully to someone who may not have the maturity to show he appreciates the gift of being offered my sacred space.

Another party in yoga boy's circle gave me the chance to see renaldo again. I felt even more attracted to him, this time. his sweet gentle soul litterally shines. when we saw each other, the affection was genuine.

his mind is focused on spiritual things. I feel attracted by that.

it does not hurt that he is cute , too.

I invited him to try a new church with me, as we had discussed last time. he replied that while he is sad for the loss, he has to work on sundays he gets through it by telling himself that he is 'feeding the sheep".

he is a professional chef. that's appealing as well.

he spoke to me of a mediation group he and Jeremy are starting.

i stopped to see Darren, on my way home. he asked me what happened at the party. i think it indicates a kind of concern/ bonding on his part. yet he claims he does not care if I kiss another man, or pursue other options.

I'm a little surprised he is not interested in keeping me in his life, but i accept this. I figure i should not deprive myself of opportunities if he is careless with me.

at the party there was also another man , with a very pure heart named Damian. We have begun a correspondance. his writing is beautiful. he is a creative soul. he wrote that he'd like to play the flute for me. I am flattered.

hmm torn... continuing interest with a boy whose spirituality is on the same plane as I and posseses basic social skills to make me feel wanted and interesting.

and on aother plane, there is darren who has many lovely qualities , but has not made me feel as if i were the slightest bit interesting to him as a human being.

hmm written that way, this is not something i should wonder about.

in fact, i have no indication he cares if our tryst continues.
ugh.
fall back.

iron cock club

2005-07-30T00:28:00.000-02:00

please allow me to know your desire better. please click here and answer a few questions so that I may be more pleasing to you .

had a lovely opportunity to spend time with my friend Dreamy. I never tire of appreciating the joy of spending a moment sharing love and intimacy with a good friend.

Gabfest topics : a)our appreciation of geeks that make us come alot.
b)The goodness of God who provides us with boys that are good to us.

As my life unfolds, it is clear to me that I have had been fitting in more naturally with the twenty something crowd who have embraced a brainy spiritual approach to life.

Her new boy is apparently a member of what we now coined as the "iron cock club".

He is a computer geek who spent all week-end making her come without ever a thought for himself or his orgasm.

It's nice to know some men have figured out that if you please a woman she will only want to please you more.

Stud-Darren seems naturally endowed with the desire to give pleasure as a condition to feeling some for himself.

She exclaimed with surprise that she came 12 times in a night.

I commented " welcome to a woman's world"

she replied " i can now say I have a LATIN LOVER!"

ring in the new era of iron cocks!

we agreed stud boy should really stop masturbating on the day he sees me.

By the way, it IS hot to lick your woman , then fuck her ,then lick her again.
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Darren first meet pt 1

2005-07-28T20:01:00.001-02:00

I had asked Darren to meet me in a rather upscale restaurant bar.
I was impressed with the fact he called to notify of his lateness. But I am too hot to be made to wait.

Even today, as I lunched with my very cool French girl buddy Nadine, she remarked I was " lucky" to have received 6 marriage proposals in my lifetime. I've never viewed marriage as a goal unto itself. It is more about finding someone I can admire and wish to share my life with.

but i digress.. You all seem to want to hear all about Darren.

althoguh first date lateness is grounds for dismissal. I waited for him.

i admited to the couple I met at the bar that i was meeting a blind date who was very young and obviously did not yet understand the importance of arriving on time. I figured if he didn't show up, maybe they would be interested in swinging. SHe mentioned her date would stand for a beautiful girl such as I , as soon as I arrived.

I noted a person standing in the doorway of the restaurant looking very unsure of himself. I figured it was my boy looking nothing much like his picture.

Hmm , not a good start... I tried to appear as though i might be who he was looking for, in case he was indeed the darren I awaited.

he nodded without moving.

this BOY does not ACTUALLY expect me to walk to HIM, does he??? Dog! I never thought that he might not know basic first date skills, Oh NO!

I made a wider smile, hoping he would figure out he needed to come to me, if it was him. Finally, He did.
I was looking hot in a womanly way. He was playing the part of geek boy. ( I love geeks so no hate mail, please).

I already had a glass of wine. he ordered a beer. after thirty seconds he asked :"now what?" I was a little shocked he made no attempt at conversation, but then again he was there for schooling. So, I accepted he may lack the basic pick up skill and told myself that if being the teacher was my role here, then i was going to have to teach him all this too.
hmm...i thoughtfully replied
-"well, that's a good question .... I guess i 'd like to talk to you, but the things I want to ask you are not things i want to yell out over the noise of this bar."

he answered that on a friday, everyplace would be noisey. Would I like to go somewhere else or get a table?"

He has some manners, after all, i thought.

Points for giving me a choice.

let's get a table and circumvent a new negotiation on location.

i can take care of that, said he as he got up to do so.

NOW THERE IS A DECENT MAN!

i must remember to tell him later. a man who enjoins actions to his words is one who impresses.

good show.

we talked about what to order. i felt on the spot about what to order. I like being a lady, but i can't be unreasonable. while in my mind, he shoudl pay.. i am not trying to ruin him financially. given his young age, it is conceivable that he cannot afford more than to buy us a drink a piece.

he gave me no hints on what i could order.

I offered that he could just pay for whatever he was comfortable with and i'd willingly cover at most what my share would be.

it was a horribly sticky situation.
i live in the south. expectations are obvious. man pays when man and woman are together.
i signed up to teach the boy sex, potentially.
I am clear I do not want to be confused with a professional getting paid or gifted for " services".

I don't want to be obligated to spend time with him. he's 21. my prejudgement was that He could have nothing of interest to say.

i figure i need to start his interview.

he looked so very uncomfortable and lost, worried about how he was measuring up.

I couldn't tell. i knew i couldn't just get naked without some degree of comfort.

He's not drop dead gorgeous. he was going to need to show something in his personality to make himself attractive.

-"so, you said you have been with 2 women... tell me about that."

-" well... " he described his relationship to the first one which as far as i could tell ,seemed more virtual than real life since most of the time they were " together " was from different states online.

ALL FOR YOU

2005-07-27T15:39:00.000-02:00

Dear readers,
please allow me to know your desire better. Click Here and answer a few questions so i know what kind of sexy or other stuff you want to read.

ALL FOR YOU

You can also link directly to the current results without voting:

Results: ALL FOR YOU

experienced lover

2005-07-25T01:24:00.000-02:00

He was a tall blond sporting a moustache. He was 10 years older than I... we met at a party.

I have never enjoyed small talk. I enjoy debates about controversial subjects, if the person I converse with can put forth an intelligently thought out opinion.

I felt free and confident about who I was was, except in looks. Chalk it up to teen aged insecurities. He thought I was "cultured and smart".

Bill had taken me to the only bar in town. we drank, danced and walked home stopping often to kiss.

I was going to enjoy making out with Bill.

My father had fortunately left me on my own, "trusting me to be responsible".

After eating some pop tarts, Bill and I ended up on the bed kissing and dry humping. I thought I found heaven.
he slowly and thoroughly explored my body. he kissed my neck and ears, collar bone, and stomach then licked and sucked my breasts and shoulders...

I was amazed. I never felt a mouth on my stomach before.

I thought he was a genius!
suddenly, his mouth was on my pussy. mmm

I traveld into a mental and physical world unknown until that moment. I felt so overwhelmed by my pleasure.

The next day, I called my best friend Jenny:

- bill came over last night

-" tell details"

-it was amazing , he did this thing i never felt before...

-"what?"

-he kissed me in between my legs...andit felt sooo great!

-Oh that's called "eating you out"

-"You KNEW what this was and never TOLD me about it???"

The simplicity of doing what felt right in the moment intoxicated me.

It was kind of Bill to introduce me to my body.
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Hospice joy

2005-07-21T21:45:00.000-02:00

They came. They talked about dying. He talked about all the people he had seen die before him.
he spoke of his desire not to suffer. His pain at watching his first wife suffer. His denial when she died.
his adoptive daughter's pain at watching her mom suffer.

How horrifying!, I felt tender and protective... Overwhelmed.

I was relieved someone will help get groceries.

he asked for a chaplain, he asked for a visitor.

I know he is preparing to get his spiritual affairs in order.

I know he is waiting on me.

I've done this work enough to know the time is drawing near.

I drove home crying.

there are no words to describe this journey.

I am a fucking professional emotional and spiritual healer.

and ...I am his daughter.

we are each other's deepest most abiding loves.

The world is swirling.

Will Darren be with me tonight? He never called to confirm, say he looked forward to... or mention he had a thought for me...

shit, i can't stand that! Mental rant begins...

I should not be made to wonder... I deserve peace...

then shut up . Don't wonder. Control your mind or change your circumstances. I answered myself.

When he walked through the door, he kissed me.

I found my smile.

his lateness went without any remark from me.

I felt surprised I had a smile in me.

He's become my "hero", he does not even know it.

his soft caress gives my spine a tingle.

I bliss...

all the way through hearing " you are beautiful when you glow."

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stud quote thursday

2005-07-21T21:43:00.000-02:00

sometimes it feels good just to be held.

Stud progress

2005-07-17T23:20:00.000-02:00

Best stud quote of the day " I wanted to taste myself in your mouth"

I really DO want to know what porn teaches this hot dialogue!

finally someone whose sex mind can play with mine.

nothing seems to scare him. I am starting to envy the woman who gets him all trained and already hot minded.

it was already 9: 30 PM when I called him
-" you up for a quickie?"

-" I was going to go to bed early, he responded

me: " - really?"
him "that was static, never mind, come over if you want to!"

he opened the door. I pushed him back with my tongue in his mouth and shut the door with my left hand.

he gasped, said " isn't that my job?"

- "not all the time"

I thrust myself against him. He was hard. I grabbed him over his pants and said come on.
as we stood in the living room, I announced " I could use a shower"

-"me too ", he retorted.

as we climbed the steps to the bathroom, he told me he was surprised to see me looking so beautiful. Especially since I warned I'd be wearing grunge clothes, no make up.

I noted he demonstrated the greeting compliment. He was pleased his effort was noticed.

we practically ran into the shower where he took time to choose the water temperature for my comfort and make sure my jewelry would be safe.

ok, a guy with a hard cock who can still use his brain to ensure my comfort is a fucking natural !

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pacificator

2005-07-16T23:44:00.000-02:00

-I had chest discomfort today, dad said casually

-Oh? in what way? I replied, trying to sound nonchalant.

-yes, it was like a stabbing needle in my chest, dad said.

I wonder if tonight will be the night that I will go to sleep and wake up without him?
By the time I hung up the phone, I was sad. I felt that wave come over me, I sensed the tears in the distance...

this is my daily life. -clearly, I have too much on my plate to expect anyone would share it. now that I feel like crap , I understand what a gift it is to have a young man that "loves being at my beck and call" because he makes these low moments easier. Also , perhaps most importantly, his energy is clear and pure. His loving mind contributes positive energy to my soul path.

sex helps me to turn off my brain and connect with the universal divine inside.

This realization that lead me to gratitude came on the heels of a discussion during which a male aquaintance of mine took great pains to explain the wrongness of the older/ younger dynamic.

He suggested I would be responsible for upcoming heart break in this boy's life. who's to say it won't be my heart that gets broken?

This aquaintance had all but convinced me this little piece of sunshine in my life was fueled by exploitation on my part. my crushing on stud boy was my way of justifying my wrong act...
OUCH!

hey this very cute aquaintance throwing darren under the bus might have ulterior motives?
tonight, I conclude: right or wrong, my joy increases with him near. As long as he treats me with respect, and wants to keep sexing me up, I'm keeping my pacificator.

Opportunities that suck.

2005-07-16T14:27:00.000-02:00

i felt the sting in my eyes that is becoming a daily visitor. I want to push it down. Yet, I know the right thing to do is to let the tears out, explore the feelings, allowing myself to be; in the same reverent way i would explore a new lover's sex.

there is a well of tears in me. They come up at the oddest times. Perhaps in the most normal times, they are the moments i am at ease.

This morning i was noting that my body was all abuzz after a 5 hour marathon session with new stud boy, suddenly my eyes were stinging.

What the fuck?

Oh right, dad is still dying. I am still alone to face the abyss of pain.
i am damned crazy to give this boy so much energy. He does not even have a clue the kind of exceptional woman I am.

Ok , I apologize to you readers. You don't know me, so I may sound very egotistical.
However, I have been in enough relationships and on this planet long enough to know
that men say they want a woman who is smart, sensitive , compassionate, fun, responsible with money and hot in bed.

Hi ! My name's Frenchy!
Also, I am an excellent cook. SO, while I expect to take care of myself, as many modern women do... I also actually enjoy taking care of my "man", due to my European upbringing , no doubt.

Oddly, I can only be truly made happy in this pleasing thing, if I know the person appreciates me.

I now realize that the more I give myself to Stud-Darren, the more my emotions are raw, the more I will feel what I have been running from.

I DO NOT WANT MY DADDY TO DIE.
I do not want to long for his love, his words of wisdom , the way his eyes and face light up when he sees me.

JESUS! ( I only call on him when i mean to) my heart is dynamited open!

I remind myself every other day " grief allows for the total rearranging of our souls to be more in alignment with the core of our being, if we let it."

I get gratitude for the opportunity. - for about 10 seconds.

AGAIN, comes to mind : what the HELL was I thinking? Teaching a boy is constant work , much like having a girlfriend ( needs constant attention).

teaching about every aspect of interpersonal relationships , dating and sexing requires a lot of follow through.
He came to me not knowing how to kiss, and barely able to speak of himself other than short phrases as if we were messaging each other online... How were we drawn together?

I know why... I don't dare say it out loud. His deepest desire was to "be a knight in shining armor".

he does not know I had been talking with Gd about how it would be easier to whether the constant grind of death and dying if I had someone to lean on just a little... Someone to share with... Someone who can be present in intimacy... ( i don't mean sex, not just sex.)

Finally I am at the depths of truth within, I AM TERRIFIED.
I know pain is coming. Pain is already here. i am afraid of missing the one who has given me the most consistent love, afraid no one will ever be faithfully devoted to loving me. Afraid of not surviving this well. Afraid my ass is too big...

i took a person in my life i was sure i could not have feelings for, and i was wrong. i let him talk to me. Discovered I could like him as a human....
he has a brain and a nice cock.

i know my only salvation is to keep letting it go. I need to just let Gd be Gd. Let things be as they should, not be in attachment.

My most fervent wish since i was a teen-ager is to master and embody unconditional love. Loving dad while he is leaving is a piece of that.

thank you gd for the opportunity, this sucks. Well not really.

Stud lunch

2005-07-15T13:38:00.000-02:00

I arrived for our lunch date which was supposed to be in a place he chose that is rather nice and in a beautiful romantic setting.

For a beginner, his ideas are great!

He opened the door, pulled me into him and had his tongue in my mouth immediately.

I had no choice but to respond by pinning him up against the wall.

The surprise effect on me was exciting, the aggression confusing. I trust him, though. So, I didn't sweat it.

we walked up to his main floor where he proceeded with a major greeting of my erogenous zones: fondling my breasts in that expert way of his while he kissed me deep,grinding my pussy with his leg... once I was thoroughly confused about whether we were going out or staying in, he dropped:
"would you like to got out or eat in ?"

- do you mean after I have you for lunch?

-was i being obvious?, he retorted smiling.

We love our banter. we love to laugh and get hot.

-I want to go out, I countered.

he knelt to make me feel his hot breath on my pussy. I started sweating.
I suddenly realized I was in a world of trouble. I have taught this boy so well. he can almost control my body at will.

it's been a week.

so many men before him have not been up to the task of making me this hot. he accomplished this in under ten minutes.

furthermore, he informed me he has saved himself for me although it was very hard...
That almost put me over the edge. I was feeling very honored and more turned on.

He does not read my blog because I have not yet given him the address, so I wondered how he read my mind.

finally after admitting to sweating, i suggested
-" how about we get a quickie now, and then lunch out ?"

-"sounds good to me" I can not say it enough. A man who says yes is one of life's excellent pleasures!
he led me to the couch where I had been desiring to go for a while. he unbuttoned my shirt while licking down my chest and around my breast.

he took his shirt off the instant i reached for it.

boy is turning pro.

I reached for his dick, he turned away. hmf

-no, i still need practice. he chimed gently

I stood torn between the terror of letting him own me and the mounting desire he created in me.

desire won. I was seated on the couch with one pant leg off. every time he licked an inch of my body I moaned. He found his way to my pussy which I was dying for him to play with. begging was seconds away.

I see white light, feel heat, wetness. I am gone. He fingers my pussy while licking me and he is not letting it go. i come so much that my head is about the only part left on the couch, the rest of me is in a supported bridge pose of sorts.

when i am sated he stops to say " eh, try not to choke me, next time". umm how did that happen?
apparently my leg put his neck in a sort of death grip.

-"ok , i'll try to keep my leg off your neck, but you should also defend yourself by repositionning me, because i had no idea that happened."

we got sushi, as he wished. I made the huge mistake of telling him it's easy to get what you want from me, just make me come a lot.

As it turns out, I enjoyed the sushi.

woohoo

2005-07-14T20:14:00.000-02:00

Thanks to my generous lessons for stud boy, I am proud to announce that I am listed in fleshbot!!!
whoohoo!

I aked him to write a post describing his experience with me. Let me know if you'd like to read his perspective ?!

Say it in French

2005-07-13T00:14:00.000-02:00

His tongue was on my right lip following it slowly down then back up the middle, it swirled my clit and went to my other lip. I arched and ached for him to give me more.
Just as I was going to ask him to focus on my clit, his mouth was on it, hot and sure.

boy read my mind, he is definitely getting good. As I was going to ask him to finger my g-spot, he began to enter me. He did it with great care, perfect pace and positioning.
"per....fectt...mmmm ", I purred.

Until now, he'd been misguided in my vaginal path which always brought some pain with his finger expecting a straight path where there is a curve.

so, that night was a treat! He found his way gently, but very surely to my gspot. I began to moan. When he applied pressure with his hand to the outside of my pubis, I wailed.

He stopped to ask " how's that?"

( we already have our little fun games)

very.... good, I replied in a single breath.

As he kept it up, rhythmic half screams started coming from me... "I ...I... I'm gonna come....Oh yes, yes ...'

he stopped.
"SAY IT IN FRENCH!" He commanded , then continued.

damn, boy is finding his wings! Should I indulge him ? He's gonna have to make me.

I breathed deep, to put him off a little.
the wave is coming, he 's got me. The heat in my belly is growing. That feeling of needing to pee for half a second is there before it gives way to ecstasy. A wave of pleasure rushes in me from my head to my pussy, then back to my head again.

"oui oui oui , encore ....encore encore,"

I feel my wetness release to his hand.

"oui c'est bon , oui j'aime ca." ( yes that's good, yes I love that)

I screamed like an animal over and over. I bucked so hard he is thrusted sideways between my legs. "Oh oui mmmmmmm oui." The orgasm made me sit up. He never let go.

Oh well, I guess he won, but it was worth it...(she smiles)

Round three was about to start.

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Things

2005-07-11T02:50:00.000-02:00

Mon pere: -"I can't help but wonder what will happen to all my things..."

Moi: well , you won't be here to care about it.

Mon pere: I know, but you see, you can't wrap your brain around it... You just think these are the things I have loved and lived with for most of my life... They have been where I have been. Who can appreciate them??

Moi: They will stay in the family, after we have made our choices , your close friends will be given an option for a memento.

Suddenly, I got it. This is not about what you own. It's about what you are. Taking inventory of a life lived. Needing a witness. It's about the impossibility of realizing life ends.

Maybe it's because in a very real sense, a spirit sense, life does not end. Who we are, the core of our being is. IT IS. Never ceases. Some people call that "is" soul. I like the term essence.

he is thinking of his essence through his things.

my heart aches. I am helpless to ease his pain. I am his guardian, protector, his maid, his mother, his little girl and angel. Sometimes, i just feel so inadequate as I sit and hear the pain. I am trained as a counselor. I have done end of life counseling issues with clients... I know the only thing to do is be present, listen. Help them sift through their stuff. I try to sit with him. Sometimes I suck at it. When sitting with a stranger, I understand the value of being their witness, of hearing their struggle and validating their humanity. People keep secrets they want to unload...

Being my dad's witness... It's the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Harder than recovering from rape. Harder than days without food...

they say grief is an opportunity to have all your unresolved issues come up so you can re-arrange yourself.

the thought of being strong without ever having a shoulder there for me is overwhelming at times. I know i can do it because i have lived through everything horrible any human can endure. Still, my father's example is how i am reminded to meet situations with grace, laughing as much as possible. "tomorrow's another day, scarlet o' hara."whispers his voice.

he taught me all this pollyanna shit. What's worse is that is really does help to have a positive attitude. However, every now and again, I envy a woman who can lay down her will and allow herself to be entirely guided by a man: playing victim,
having the ability and luxury to blame another who will accept the blame...

Nah, it's not me. I treasure taking responsibility for my life, I determine the way it turns out. So, I accept the price of feeling the pain that comes with it. Pain and change are inevitable. Suffering is optional. Things are never as they appear. There is meaning in every molecule.

when I sat with my father who beams in my presence no matter how badly he feels, he encouraged me to go see "boy Darren". He said "-get it while you can, honey"

I know it is his way of telling me to remember to enjoy life, that he is not the only one I should attend to. He is hugging me and lovingly sending me on my way back to Life while he quietly bows away from it.

the way sex, life and death are intimately connected is one of life's most wonderful mysteries.
today it is of the bittersweet variety.

end of life
soul
fathering
caretaking

Propositioned again

2005-07-08T23:25:00.000-02:00

-it's JJ

-hi JJ?

- just wanted to see how you were doing.

This is a guy who has an ad up for casual sex. He most certainly does not want to know HOW I am doing. Perhaps he simply wants to be remembered to me in a drought period?... UGH!

-well I am ... a... good

-did I catch you at a bad time?

-hmm yes.

-oh well, how have you been?

Since two weeks ago, when i said i was already with a full dance card??

...Ok JJ has a very hot looking body in his pics, everything is ripped. Even his face is GQ cute.
why am I not jumping at the chance to meet him???
during our discussion of what we were interested in doing, I said I liked to throw down for a few hours of oral.

He said he didn't think he could handle that unless he could tag team out.
he is forty-ish, claims experience. Says his dick is only good for about 20 minutes, but he's an experienced swinger. (?)

OH, I remember! He said to me : " what you need is two guys to satisfy you."(??? is he for real ??? and why did he answer my ad if he was not "up " to the task?)

Thanks for telling me what I need JJ. I have lived a fair amount of time on this planet and I have never "needed" two men before. I have been satisfied by one person enough times to know it is not a matter of how many partners. It is a matter of skill and matching stamina... UGH. I am definitely not attracted to the caveman mentality.

I gently reminded him that I currently have a volunteer ( I did not offer the real number is two) he wishes he could be the one I called. I replied I got the idea we didn't want the same thing.

-I am not really looking for a friendship. ( well not with someone who cannot hold a conversation with)

he said:- Oh NO! we want the same thing...

but then dear JJ, why the hell would you be calling me to ask me "how I am", "just to say hi" while your kids are nearby and you are not available for service?

this boy needs a girlfriend and does not want to admit it to himself. Gosh, I just got judgmental... At least, I kept it in my head...

this guy does not see his insides and I don't want to deal with that. My least favorite lie is the one people tell themselves while including me as the audience.

Then, things sometimes get ugly when the non-boyfriend gets angry wishing for boyfriend status he is not granted.
So, maybe I am crazy, because I could probably get decent sex with a very HOT looking guy instead of sitting here typing.

But I am happy with my choice...
it's finally happened! I value my own company too much to squander it before the proverbial swine. (pearl necklaces and all... )

biblical references as naughty sex ! I definitely crack me up!
internet date
proposition
hook up

stud makes me beg

2005-07-07T03:45:00.000-02:00

i cannot explain with logic how a boy who was a virtual virgin less than a week ago is fast becoming a fucking expert.

At this point, I am happy to be able to message or call a man who when asked "you up for sex?" answers "sounds good'. I don't know why it has been hard to find someone respectful who says yes to sex, but i have certainly found my share of people who volunteered to be sex buddies that turned on drama or insisted on being a boyfriend I didn't want.

so, Super stud tells me to come over, no hassle, no long conversation.
i am happy cause I have menstrual cramps and could use some help. I had already masturbated to 3 orgasms, but it was a minimum.

I brought a bag of sex toys and a bottle of white russians. his reaction ;" cool!"
I have to say that his enthusiasm is charming.

while we chatted, i asked if he minded that i would hold his dick. he was happy to oblige me.

I suggested we share a shower, since he will want to be doing this with someone at some point.
he is great about trying new things. he had been kissing me on the couch and i was getting hot feeling the need to take my clothes off.

i wanted to show him the feel of rubbing between my legs today.
he took time to interrupt the rubbing to suck my nipples. he uses the perfect combination of gentle tongue and pressure to bring me close to orgasm when he gives them any attention.

he grabbed my ass cheeks while he thrust his hips against mine. later, he pinned me against the cold tile. I turned my back to him, hanging on to the towel rack so he could play from behind. I couldn't keep coming and standing anymore. i let him know i needed to lay down soon. he was not letting up. i had come at least 5 times already. I didn't expect such a warm welcome.

somehow this humble guy is like an expert lover tonight... finally i am ready to lose my mind and say: are you trying to make me beg?
he answers -YES
well then i had to play along... it was only minutes before i was saying please baby, take me to bed. then whispering with insistence. fortunately, he knows not to push it... how he knows??? i am bewildered. .. but i am not about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

hell i cant even write what happened in the bed... it was so damn hot, it will make me over the top hot to write it...

in conclusion all i can say is that this man/boy deserves not to be referred by a cheesy nickname.
from now on I will address him as either "super stud" or Darren.
this man has earned my respect. not just for the hot sex he seems to have suddenly manifested, but because he is considerate, appreciative, bought me a baked potato @ wendy's even though I offered to buy my own and told me "porn was not nearly as hot to watch since he's known me". he 's a real guy without pretense. that has got to be the sexiest quality I know.
his post orgasm compliments melt me.

Cunnilingus, open letter to Super stud

2005-07-06T16:13:00.000-02:00

Dear sweetest student,

I have diligently scoured the internet to give you a reading assignment about cunnilingus. After careful consideration, I have decided to write my own "how to " based on my experience with my own body as well as with other women.

1) you may at times run across a woman whose smell or taste you are concerned about. The easiest way to ease that issue is to offer sharing a shower. (we will speak in depth about how to recognize what you don't want to sample) Not all women are as sweet as I. In fact a good friend of mine says there are 4 possibilities: sweet, sour, bitter and nasty. I will teach you how to recognize those by looking at them with clothes on, but that is a mission for later.

2)as you have already mastered, it is good practice to explore a woman's body with your mouth , tongue and hands before you go for the vulva with your mouth.

3) if you have not already done so, finding pictures of female anatomy, including what's on the inside is really a basic necessity.

4) when you note that the subject of your exploration is consistently moaning or panting and rocking her hips up or arching her pubic area towards you, her body is asking for more stimulation.
some women do not take well to being made to wait much, some women enjoy being made to give up control.
my advice to you is to explore her body long enough so that you both know you have taken charge of her desire. As the boss of her body, be kind and generous. Make sure she ends up getting what she wants and then a little more.

example: Does her chest rise up? Let your hand roam near it. Does she rise to meet you in response or shudder or gasp? Then, let your hand be more precise on her breast until you feel her quell a bit. ( yes this is while you are still with your mouth somewhere lower)

5) many women ( particularly the 20 something ones) feel self-conscious about their appearance and their taste and smell.
taking time to tell her how you feel " you make me so hard" or what you are experiencing such as " you look hot","you taste great", or making yummy noises will help her relax and enjoy herself. - you know the more she enjoys herself, the more of a stud you become in her eyes.

5b) feel free to check in verbally. Encourage her to express her likes and dislikes. If you are at ease asking her and encouraging her to express herself, she will more likely feel free to share. Once you show her that you receive her disclosures with receptivity and eagerness to please her, you will increase your chances to distribute pleasure. a nice side benefit is that the more relaxed she feels the easier it is for her to come.

6) a distributor of pleasure can write his own ticket with women in most cases. At least with any woman who values pleasure. You certainly don't want to get yourself an unresponsive or unenthusiastic partner to spend your days with. THAT will be boring!
To that end, practice multi-tasking every chance you get. The skill will always be useful to you on many levels.

7) ok, you have been feeling her body's call for more stimulation. So, you allow your mouth to meet that glorious, yummy wet pussy. ( if the pussy does not meet that descriptive, don't go there, use your hand instead.)

What I usually do:
8) I like to begin with my hand opening her labia majora first. I am not stretching them out; simply making enough room to explore with my tongue. I start at the bottom of the outside of her labia minora ( lips ), near the vaginal opening. I lick with medium pointed tongue as if drawing an outline. I lick up to the top of clitoral hood (12 o' clock). I continue with slightly softened tongue right above the head and use the underside of my tongue to trace my way back down the other side. Now, when you reach the top of the clit, you should note a definite response: either a moan, sigh, muscle jerk , or hard shoving of pussy in your face.

I like to pull my head up slightly to continue the journey downward uninterrupted before I go back to the clit where her body wants me.

if my first visit above the clit elicits nothing, then i would take a moment to explore the sides of it using different tongue pressure ( hard and soft )with different tongue positions ( flat or pointed) to look for an intense response. If there is still no response, i know i have not found what exactly works, I assume she is one of those women who likes a lot of direct stimulation and move my journey down her lips.

9) the exploration process is vital. You are going to be here a while and when it comes time to give her orgasms, you better understand the details of the geography of this new territory. Remember there are other erogenous zones such as the perineum and ass. -rimming deserves a separate chapter.

10) Then, I move to the inside of the labia minora to repeat the tracing, I might also gently tug or suck them. I stop before my tongue makes contact with her clit.
her body will have given me some indications along the way. She will squirm in directions she wants to be touched. She will arch for more pressure.
if this is the time her pussy shoves up to my face, I understand she wants hard direct pressure.
if on the contrary, she almost backs away, I know she wants the opposite.

11) by now, if you can see, ( i recommend lights on) most likely , you'll be able to see the vaginal opening contracting. -It looks like puckering. Whatever speed at which it is contracting the speed will increase as her desire for penetration increases. ( this does not mean stop what you are doing and fuck her unless she specifically asks you to)

11b)since we've moved to the topic of holes that contract, the ass behaves similarly;also offering access to female g-spot stimulation. Rimming and all things of the ass world deserve a separate chapter...for advanced levels. For now, at minimum, remember the perineum.

12) if you must stop to fuck her, I recommend you interrupt fucking to go back to licking after a while. It will pace your orgasm and increase her pleasure. You come off looking like her pleasure is more important than yours. Of course, the more you put hers first, the more reward you get / should get later.

13) when it seems the vagina is frantic with pulsing and you might even see juice gushing out, then, you want to insert a finger or any object you both desire. Explore what she likes inside. ( there are 4 walls)
As you know, anytime you approach pussy, it should be wet, your fingers should be lubed.

(there is more to a pussy than finding the G-spot)

on the second visit of her lips after the pause, if pussy is shoved in your face it's a great time to focus on her clit.

14) once you determine where it is, knowing all it's sensitive spots, I recommend you start with licking circles around it, or on the edges of it. You should know what pressure to apply based on your previous exploration.
when the moaning gets regular you stay steady. If the circles are not doing it for her, there are 2 other tried and true methods. Back and forth or up and down.
again remember your tongue can be pointed or flat with more or less pressure.

15) when she is rocking to a rhythm, DO NOT STOP, unless she asks you to.

16) if you have been finger fucking her while you lick as I have shown you on the gspot, she will be coming. ( for variation , you can use a thumb to stimulate the perineum or the anus.)

17) when I orgasm, you will notice I start to grind, then my muscles tense up, I arch my back while my moans turn to rhythmic longer screams.
18) you should brace my hips down with whatever you can, hand or forearm. If you forget this, you might be hurt with the force of my bucking hips. ( i once sent a man flying off me mid-orgasm)

if you lay your forearm against me to brace me , you can use your hand or fist to apply pressure on the outside of the pubis for extra g-spot stimulation.

if you are using your hands , you can wrap them around my thighs as if you intend to wear me like a garment.

19) when I start to come, you will feel juices flowing down as you already pointed out. Some women squirt fluid from their vagina. Some just lay there and it's hard to tell they're getting off except for their eyes glazing over. Your entire hand and wrist will be wet, when I am done.

20) In my orgasmic world, this is only the beginning of a series of waves. I 'll tell you when to stop, you'll know you've done a good job by what i will say to you and the smile you like to see on my face.

21) you will also measure your level of success based on the quality of the attention paid to your body after I have been well taken care of. That is the case with just about any woman I have ever met.

remind me to tell you the story of the lesbian who begged me to stop so she could do me !

extra tips
* don't follow the same predictable pattern every time. It's boring. ( you already aren't predictable, I am so impressed with your willingness to experiment!)
* to paraphrase Xaviera Hollander, turning a woman on to you is good, turning her on to herself is great! ( be happy if she touches herself while with you)

Dear readers, please add your comments to help Super Darren be all that he can be. Thanks!

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Stud lesson hits the spot.

2005-07-04T12:36:00.000-02:00

Lucky me, stud boy is a natural! When I answered the ad on CL "looking for older woman to show me the ropes", I had not anticipated finding much satisfaction. I felt drawn to help out. I'll help a young guy learn from "the best", I thought. (so I am arrogant in my own mind... At least, I wait for others to come to that lofty conclusion on their own when i am in the real world.) If he fumbled too much, I reasoned, I could always call on trusted Miguel to satisfy me.

I figured I could contribute one great thing to the world: "a perfect lover". Hey it's my fantasy life, don't judge!

I had been thinking that i will have to find someone experienced to help balance my experiences with Stud-Darren. Sometimes it's nice to let yourself go to the hands and mouth of someone who can measure response and has the nerve to push ahead to the next pleasure level without taboos.

Oh yeah, if that were easy to find, i would not have a stud in training...

So, I was expecting an evening of average vanilla fun ie :after giving a partial map to my body, I come at least once , he comes twice, then we part ways.

Oh boy , SURPRISE surprise! My boy is an honor student. so it is true! in life you get what you give.

He arrived, still with the nervous kissing and failed to issue the greeting compliment. I reminded him. He dropped -" you look relaxed"
the buzzer sounded, -"bad answer, try again."
He chimed in with
-"what I wanted to say is these are very nice(as he caresses my breasts), but I am not sure how to make that sound good."

-"that's a great compliment! If you are on a second date maybe :I like your top or nice shirt is a good way to go... She'll know what you mean."

He took control of my computer trouble, and what can I say, smart minds make my pussy tingle.

Lesson of the day: sex is not a goal oriented activity (it should not be treated as trying to get inside as quickly as you can) Sex is like hiking. It is the journey that gives the pleasure. Getting on the top of the mountain with determination can sometimes cause tunnel vision which leads to missing the amazing natural surprises you see if you pay attention.

My stud boy turned college pro during the application phase of that lesson.
he took time to kiss and lick my neck, ears, collar bone, stomach,inner thighs...he even used breath...

he did this so astutely attuned to my responses, that it was not long before I asked:" do you feel my body starting to give over to you?"

-"mmm fffhm," he responded,face full of flesh.

I began to feel the frenzy, the urge to grab him and force any part of him to my clit. My pussy had been grinding his chest. He was observant enough to realize he could then use that as an extra tool for pleasuring me. I began to think of begging.

mmm this boy was giving me great rewards for my trouble! Damn, boy ! Satisfy my body's craving! You are starting to have too much control! ahhh exquisite giving over... You are driving my body now... mmm,good boy...What amazing trick will be next?

-"you are exceeding my expectations", I encouraged.
his mouth met my clit with a flat wide tongue,he began to circle. His finger found my g-spot remembered from last lesson. My first orgasm of the evening in his mouth happened under a minute from the time of direct stimulation.
stud hit the spot! 4 hours later he went home.

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planning your own funeral.

2005-07-03T11:26:00.000-02:00

he: "why do people tell you it's sad?"

me: "why don't you understand it's sad to lose someone you love?"

he: "it's not sad, it's a release. it's not hard, it's simple."

has he gone insane? no, he is telling me his view for himself.

me:" dad, I know what to do, and how to do it, but I will still be sad. Then after a while, I won't be... when your Ileen died, you had trouble picking the box for her remains and what to include in the obituary."

he: "I have no recollection of that."

me: "it's normal. It's called grieving. Part of grieving makes you become forgetful."

he: "what is grieving, really? do people grieve?"

me: "It is a well documented process studied and researchedit happens when we lose something. one of the famous researchers was Elizabeth Kubler Ross. she documented stages of grief after studying first hundreds then thousands of cases...
I know what it is, I am not afraid. but it is a reality.... It feels like your judging my feelings....Why don't you accept I will be sad?"

he: "because I want to protect you."

Damn , it never occurred to me how strong his desire to protect me is, even now.
He's feeling himself die and he wants his baby not to be sad... he wants to take the pain away...

the way those words reverberated through me and the room , I knew I was experiencing a holy moment. In me is still the baby girl who wondered if mommy would always get away with lying while I stood by as the pawn. It was this baby girl that he had just comforted.

me: I am glad we had this talk. Next time it comes up, I will remember you want to protect me, not judge me. Remember, I also want to protect YOU, dad, because I love you.

this was only a test. Another one of his craftily designed tests to check if I can handle what lies ahead. My dad is sensitively brilliant. What is grief, indeed?

elizabeth kubler ross
fatherhood
filial love
dying

Living with dying

2005-07-02T22:50:00.000-02:00

First off, let me say MY dad wins the best daddy in the world award!
2 days ago, he knew i was scheduled to get my hair done. For some reason, he takes great interest in exactly what will be done. When i spoke to him later that day... He asked " so, do you feel all beautiful?"
He is such a ladies man! I love him for it!. How many people step outside their suffering to contribute to the joy and upbuilding of others? such a small detail... i felt moved his presence in my life has always been to teach me what a good man is all about.

Ok , he's not the only one, but gosh! That is such a brilliant quality!

it's one i hope i embody...

today we had a "meeting " to discuss if it was time for hospice to get involved, then we could talk about where he wanted his remains interred.

THIS is basically a sucky conversation to have with someone you love.

However, he is talking about how "death is a release from life. No reason to be sad."
he is trying to make this easy on me.

it's hard to take. I am torn between wanting to jump on his lap and run the FUCK away to stop the pain.

The woman who gave birth to me is hounding him for attention and money though SHE left him some 36 years ago after doing a lot of ugly things... I grew up deprived of my father, I am not giving him up now that I can speak up.

I want her to leave us alone to have our bliss, joy and sorrow all wrapped together ...
this is the highest level of intimacy I have ever practiced.
don't leave me , daddy, you are so wise and funny... But Godspeed, dad. You've done a fantastic job! I'm ready. I'm a good grown up.

we spoke of how m-o-t-h-e-r would be crying.
I said -"I'll cry later, at home."
why do we gulp down the pain???

Funny note: I told him i went out with a 20 something yr old who is soo clearly too young for me, but refreshingly polite, sans artifice and interesting.

my pimp daddy's reply? = "who cares how old he is... The stars are doing it! Why not the moon?" (i'm the moon, the stars are in Hollywood)

he has done it all and always encourages me to follow the wild side.
lastly, he once said to me "honey, I have tried everything I wanted to do... I have found that when there were more than four people in a bed, they didn't miss me when I rolled off. I like to know I'd be missed. Never have regrets"

fatherhood
greed
funeral
grief

Party surprise

2005-06-27T18:13:00.000-02:00

-Wouldn't it be more fun to be naked?, I asked playfully.
-Yeah, I love naked time! He said looking at her.
She chimed " I miss naked time... then she turned to me "We stopped because it always turned into an orgie... and some people aren't comfortable with that."
-I love nudity! I answered

I sat down to talk. She is petite, has red short hair and some ink. She has an impish face with piercing blue eyes. He was handsome with an air of innocence, black buzz cut,and some ink on his well defined physique.
she says "my boyfriend's cool, I've never been so happy. I think it's because he's bisexual!"... "You know, I think there's something really hot about being with a boy who's sucked more cock than me."
-"I can see that", I offered. I think that's hot too.
-"... I'm bisexual too", she continued.
-really ? so am I !

Geeze for once , being bisexual is not being the oddball at a party. How cool!

She sat looking adoringly at a cute girl who oozed lesbian orientation. I knew I was not needed there. I moved on to the couch.
Two men were dancing. Watching them swirling and moving their bodies to the beat was a beautiful uplifting sight. Yoga boy, J was shirtless, revealing a beautifully muscular upper body. He sported a black skirt. When I walked in, "WOW that's hot!" spontaneously escaped my lips. He grinned

Who am I, Paris Hilton?

Now he was dancing with his beloved friend Ronan without a car for gender role expectations. That was so hot!

a man who is free of hang ups is ALWAYS a good thing!

They caressed at times. I was pulled to dance near them, I felt the beat in my hips where all motion was initiated.

Just as I was reaching my hand up to touch... a new guest arrived: a hot girl named Kitty, looking about 25, brunette, green eyes, great ass...

mmm I need to say hello to Kitty.

We started chatting, I sensed her attraction to me. Also, I noted there were frequent looks exchanged between her and J.

. well there goes my 2 boy dance.

Later, I asked J if Kitty was bisexual. He confirmed my suspicions with a rather large smile as if he understood my intentions. I am not greedy. I know he believes in open relationships. He knew I also believe in the soundness of that. Perhaps he'd share his kitty? Pussy was seeming more attractive than dick... and both together seeemed ideal.
I flitted about, and danced. She appeared next to me on the couch. She said "I think J is hot. I am horney." Lips were on mine, sweet like youth... a little tongue was licking my lips... Hot kitty just kissed me by surprise then announced "I want to have sex and J is passed out on the balcony"...
sexblogs
kiss
bisexual
party

Stud curriculum

2005-06-25T17:12:00.000-02:00

ok, stud had left me his number 2 days ago. It is time for me to call and take the general temperature. I am such a guy! I have no interest in chit chat. My previous Fuck buddies have enjoyed the fact I am all business in my attitude.

lui: " I didn't expect you to call so early " ( it was about 3 in the afternoon. )
I guess he thinks sex happens at night, hmm something to remedy...

moi : " well I just wanted to let you know I intended to use your number, I know you have plans tonight."

lui:" oh it's ok , though"

moi:" well what is best for you week days or week ends?"

Lui "week ends"
moi " how about we meet next friday at the beach bar?"
Lui "that sounds good, we could meet at 8"
moi : " I'm not much for phone chit chat"
lui " me neither, don't sweat it"
moi " well then we can meet no pressure and decide where we go from there"
I'm the designated teacher, so I keep control. Still I let him know he's safe, since he said he was nervous.
lui " that sounds like a good plan"
well at least he has some manners. Good start.
I give him my number and add
" you know I am about 10 years older than you "
lui " I read your profile, I have an idea what I am getting into...Well, a faint idea."
Boy, you have NO idea, the ride you are in for.
Moi: " yes, faint idea is a good way to put it", I giggled.
he has a cute voice. this boy seems to have manners. I like that he is unassuming. perhaps we'll click. I have not seen my dom side in a long time.
sex
stud
date
older woman
sexblogs

Joy of girlfriendship

2005-06-24T23:15:00.000-02:00

Simple joys are so hot! My coolissima friend Dreamy called me to go hang out at a local coffee shop filled with odd sorts. I love this! Young cute boys, a cutie pie charming openminded girlfriend and shared laughs over our past adventures. We do entertain the crowd. What's sexier ? Funny smart sweet girls, or the fact that we are HOT HOT HOT?! She 6', big blue eyes, light hair, I betcha C cup with legs that go on until sunday
Me: brunette, big green eyes, c cup with the charm that a woman who knows how to be a woman has...
MMMMMMM. FUN !
there was ball slapping, singing, dancing, and many sex stories shared...
where she uses her words to bring the bees to her honey, I use my eyes... Damn we are a team to behold!
I can't wait to go to the nudist resort again with her!
Soon I get pole dancing lessons!!! My dream come true!

Still seriously, what is a greater joy than feeling truly loved by a good friend who is smart and cute too!
friendship
girls

The Wounds of Denial

2005-06-23T15:20:00.000-02:00

Dad's been in need of more reassurance and help lately. Dying slowly must suck. Even though we are all on our way there inexorably... He has to live knowing he has a time bomb inside.
Each change in his body becomes a cause for concern to him.
I note how he pretends to feel well when he sees anyone else. He smiles. Says " I feel lucky!" when he is at home, he barely moves. He says he's too tired.
I can't help but wonder if depression is setting in. Sometimes I want to run away screaming" I will not watch this pain another second. I will not subject myself willfully to the torture of seeing his helplessness and struggle"

This does not befit my king, my hero.

His life has been so full. At 92 , he still gets sex from more than one place. At 75 he was nightclubbing and being very free with his sexuality. He picked up a lot of 20 yr olds at quarter drink night.

He has always forgiven his foes, never said a bad word about anyone , including the backstabbers he encountered. He was a party boy. A charming man. One who had the kind of soft heart that let many tenants slide on a month's rent. Before the party boy, he was the respectable, responsible country club going man.

I spent the last 2 days being with him , watching his weakness. As I watched, I struggled with how much to discuss. Hell he knows he is weaker, he is living it. Secrets kill us faster, this I know.
He wants to put on a show, does not want to agree to get help. I have to acknowledge I can't do it all at the risk of disappointing him. This is grown up stuff. Few can really do it well, or with honesty to themselves and their dying loved one. I should know, I used to be a grief counselor!
This is our time. It's always with love in it, but also fear and prudishness about our feelings is coming up. I am to be the guide. Sometimes I forget. I ask him why he is walking outside with no cane if he is not well enough to get his mail? He stands there.

- Are you trying to show off?
-yes, he replies less proudly than usual
" I am not trying to be a bitch, just bitchy to get a message to you. ( I didn't know I was capable of such verbal incompetence) If you're well enough to walk, you should get your own mail. If you're not well enough to walk , you should stay inside, so you don't take any risks."
I took his hand in mine, kissed it and added : "I love you and want to take care of you".
he wobbled off with unsure footing said with sweetest eyes" I love you too"
I thought " that's my dad!, he's gonna show off 'til the end"

Then I went home to write about sex for 2 days and answer an ad from a 21 yr old boy looking for a teacher.
My internet pseudo boyfriend in DC played games with me again. His entertainment value is really diminishing.
I want to interact with a category of man who knows he does not have to say "I love you " or " I'll call you tomorrow" just to hope to get some sex. If it's a fucking lie, or has any potential to not not be true, just don't say it! GEEZ!

maybe Frenchy's school for men of how to get women is in order. Maybe DC just sucks. Maybe I am mad cause my dad is suffering and no one wants to acknowlege it and support him in it. Everyone tells him he looks great and he'll live a long time... They contribute to the wounds of denial, causing him to fight harder at pretending to be well.
cancer
caretaking
dying
denial
grief

Sexual peak

2005-06-22T23:36:00.000-02:00

Waking up with wet pussy, feeling an intense tingly sensation pumping between my lips all day long, this is my lot for 2 weeks out of every month. Pictures flash in my brain in which I ride a cock for hours and exhaust the man who owns it; turning him to a puddle of sweat and come. These pictures are like spontaneous pop-ups that won't go away.
Welcome to the world of a woman in her mid-thirties. One of my favorite side effects of this body gone wild is when I take the covers off my nude body and feel stimulated to excitement from the fan blowing overhead.

That reminds me of Byron.
While we were in bed, he said "he had read about women like me, but never encountered one".
he'd been heavily sexually active for twenty years...

Gotta love a curious brainiac! He just sat in my bed rolling my nipples between his fingers making me come over and over and over... while he stared into my eyes , smiling.
He was entertained with the novelty.
I wasn't complaining.
Too bad he had no clue how to be pleasant company. I totally understand why men want women to shut their yaps and simply suck their dicks.

It would be nice to have someone to care about and who cared about me. However, a reliable, honest, talented fuck buddy is also a treasure.

I aspire to having a regular lover who is creatively gifted in the extreme. One with no hang ups, nor demands. Preferrably one who fares well with little sleep...
They must be able to handle being solicited daily for sex, knowing a quickie will not satisfy.

There is a lot more to being talented besides delaying orgasm for more than 2 minutes.
I'd rather play with myself and have 6 orgasms, than pick up someone who will not know that pleasure can be felt elsewhere than the genitals.

I like the challenge of having a lover more than once. It requires more creativity to keep things exciting.
Until I find someone suitably skilled, I'll be making long appointments with myself several times a day next week for "heat week".

Well, there is that invitation to limber yoga boy's party... hmm. He 's been checking my interest level for months...
sexblog
30's
MILF
female sexual peak
orgasm

Stud training.

2005-06-22T16:45:00.000-02:00

I've finally decided ! I am going to accept a 21 yr
old student and school him in the art of pleasures.
The last time I did this, the result was disappointing
as the boy in question (32) had no manners and lacked
proper technique regarding hygiene.
This time, I am taking on a newbie. He wants lessons
and decrees his lack of experience. Halleluia! Most
men could say that, but they are simply too afraid to
admit it.

So my original reply to his request for a teacher
reads:

If i am going to
"teach you" , it takes more than
one meeting. Based on my experience I would say that
in order to be proficient at "sex" , it is important
to
master foreplay. Once you are good at foreplay, you
will have women jumping on you and doing the rest.
Think of learning sex as learning to read. It goes in
stages. you dont show up to the first day of 1st grade
and read a novel at the end of the day. Once you get
really good, you'd be ready for a threesome if you so
desire.

I cannot wait for the day he knows to kiss me hot
enough with his tongue in my mouth to make me want to
lay down. ( is there any other way to kiss?)
caressing my body as if a blind man searching for an
erogenous spot to explore.
There is so much subtle variety to be employed, with
rhythm, pressure, texture. Yes newbie readers, the
back of the hand gives a different caress than the
front... finger tips and palms feel different too.
Mmm hours and hours dedicated to show and tell. I
will caress every inch of him with my hand and my
mouth. I will show him the contrast between
predictable touch and surprises. He will have to
master and be proficient at reading all the body's
cues.
I will teach him to use his voice to say what he
wants, to tease, to ask me what I want... He just
wants to learn "sex". He has no idea.... Oh the joys
of discovering a budding artist!
I'm not fond of teaching, but I am sick of inadequate
lovers.
I love to eat pussy, so i will share my passion with
him !

I am talking about feeling the excitement at
anticipating your face will soon be there. Feeling
yourself drip as you approach the scent. Starting to
bliss the moment tongue meets the flesh... I have
been lost in that magical world for hours. You are
gonna feel every second, taste , and nuance, be
aroused by every subtle change in me and in you before
we are done, my dear student!

You will learn to enjoy your own pleasure journey, not
just your orgasm.
I am going to make new boy a stud. If he shows up to
meet me, that is.

Orgasmic Dancing

2005-06-22T01:58:00.000-02:00

As she made a beeline for me, she said "I know you want some of this". She started gyrating her hips flush to mine. "Straight girl", I thought. Still, I gave her a slight yummy noise in appreciation. She stepped away. That's a straight girl alright!

Later, I walked over to her table. She chirped at me to sit. She wanted to feel her power. I didn't mind. I ask, "is this your girlfriend?" they get tense. I add leisurely : " I just want to know if I should hit on both of you or just one of you".

Superhorny Frenchy strikes again !
The hot one grabs my hand and tells me to dance with her.

This time, I placed my leg between hers when she starts gyrating. Her legs got a little week, she withdrew. I knew she was excited by the pleasure she just got. I kept dancing as if nothing happened. She quickly returned to press her pelvis on my leg. This time, I placed my hand at the small of her back to keep her in a good spot. She melted with me. She was letting herself go. She looked away, stepped back then went to grab a man. Clearly her mind was interfering with her body's pleasure. I made a lame attempt at having the stranger join us. It's a good day to be a bisexual lesbian!
Silly him, declined our invitation. She says "fuck him !" I wondered :did she mean this literally?
I kept dancing. She returned to ridding my leg. This time, my hand firmly pressed against the small of her back, letting my hand slide down to her very firm and round ass. She ground me faster. I moved my body so that my hip bone met her clit exactly. I felt her legs let go and her plastic smile disappeared. Her eyes bulged. She gripped my arm. I kept rolling my hip bone like a wild huge hard tongue, intent on being one with her body's every whisper.
Suddenly, she threw her head back, her eyes rolled to the back of her head. I gently released her body. Her eyes opened, she flashed a smile from ear to ear.
With great elan, she grabbed my face and planted a kiss on my lips in the middle of this straight club's dance floor. Knowing no one was the wiser, I smiled and walked away.
sexblogs
pussy
girl on girl
dancing
female orgasm

Practicing Polyamory before its time

2005-06-21T04:24:00.000-02:00

I heard the word polyamory in 1990. Long before that, I had a sweet experience with 2 boys that I want to share. err ,eh ,that shared me.

It was summer vacation when I met Bill. All of the "kids" who lived on the same lake front street got together for fishing, boating and partying. So, there was Bill who was smart, cute and more attentive than the average teen aged boy. Bill was twenty one, blond, with a mustache. He knew it was a good idea to order a girl drinks if ya like her. He amazed me by remembering I drank Black Russians and insisting on paying for them! Also, I was practicing to be a great huntress. I had made up my mind I wanted him, so I was going to have him.

I can't say it enough. " If it feels good, why not do it?" ...

One night, cute Bill and I slow danced in the only night club of this very small town. I was rather tingly and he was erect. What a thrill, feeling his firm response to me!
Bill and I were fast friends and more. I was in that
" don't-tell-me-you-love-me-phase"... He helped me experience things I did not yet know my body could feel. That might be a story for another time.

I liked Bill. He could intelligently discuss politics better than any contemporary of mine and he was never without a compliment to me. Most importantly, he never lied. I was always privy to the girlfriends he had, at college and in town. None of his other girlfriends knew of each other. His honesty with me made me feel special

After about a week of exciting sex, one evening, after we had dinner with his best friend,
Bill said to me : "I believe you like my friend Billy. If you had not met me first, would you go out with him ? " ( I thought Billy was smokin' hot! He had gorgeous
blue eyes)

-yes, I replied, marveling at his ability to read my mind...

-Well, I want you to know that I would be happy if you wanted to spend time with Billy during the week while I am away at school. It would make me feel good to know you had someone your own age to look after you, while I am away. Besides, you are a very cute girl and a lot of guys like you, I would feel better knowing you had a nice one to take care of you. This way, I won't feel so bad and I can take care of you during the week-end. Would you like that?

What a generous boyfriend! I was impressed.
We talked about the fact that I didn't want to be treated differently, viewed as a "whore", interfere with their friendship, nor hurt anyone's feelings.

He offered to step down as boyfriend, but I enjoyed the pleasure he gave me as an experienced lover. SO we agreed: Billy, weekday boyfriend and Bill, week-end boyfriend...

I kissed my boyfriend Bill goodnight. That made me horny, so I asked him to stay.
He declined, as he had already made plans with another girlfriend. Instead, he suggested I kiss Billy. So I kissed my new week-day boyfriend good night, as Bill watched. Frenchy at fifteen, the MACmami of Luv! HA!
Really it was very sweet!
Besides, when Bill would send me home with his inexperienced friend Billy, he would always check on me later to see if I "needed anything". My answer was usually yes. It was a dreamy summer. Any questions?

polyamory
dating
black russian

the uber cruel Holiday

2005-06-19T17:40:00.000-02:00

This father's day is the uber fucking cruelest holiday ever.

Dad is alive, but as if walking dead.
So, since he is the hero of many and a king by birth (his astrological sign is leo), I began preparing yesterday, getting the silver and the china and the crystal. I do so love the pleasure of anticipation!
A king must have a great spread in his honor.

All things were created yummy from scratch: Crab tart, pancakes, fruit salad galore: a king's feast indeed... which he can't eat. His appetite is decreasing... even though he'd like to hide that fact to spare us, not eating his favorite foods certainly tipped me off.
He smiles regally through it all. He carefully does not play favorites. I know I am his.
I am not everything he thinks a lady should be, but I am my own woman and unconventional in some things. I think it's what he admires about me. Still, I am lady enough to entertain any king or president, I have all the right forks.
I think my half sister hates me or does not care. Nonetheless, we all sat around acting as if we were having high tea with strangers. We all knew death was the uninvited guest. My heart cracked, but my smile didn't.

Now,I am alone again with the dishes that need cleaning and the silver pieces waiting for their "tarninsh free box". I wish I had a box like that for my heart. In reality polishing is required on both fronts.

I feel the sting in my heart go up to my eyes. Next year, no one will come to father's day delight. I will have no card to buy. I pray that I have a man to serve and please that day, because sometimes I like going all out giving to a gracious receiver.

The sweetest part for me was that he told the others he was going home. As soon as they left, he sat right down to tell me the stories of his life. I am basking in the glow that I am worthy to recieve the secrets of the GREAT ONE. I am worthy because I can live in the real world with both ugly and beautiful feelings. I face it all unafraid, with great heart. Isn't that what a king's sidekick does?
I have achieved one thing he has not, the art of facing my heart and opening it.

Coolest moment: I shared the words "when you are not here, you will still be in me." Everything I am is a testament to the values he impressed on me. I feel his ease. we bliss together in silence and smiles.
We cry alone, separately.
father's day
etiquette
grieving
family
intimacy

Licking and breathing.

2005-06-18T16:35:00.000-02:00

After reading Jefferson's blog today, my comment turned into a post.

"God, honey, you are so sexy, it makes my pussy tingle to stand near you!"

- I'm having my period, she responded.
- Now, I am more excited, I countered.

I took her hand and led her to the bedroom, where I laid her down. My mouth is watering at the thought, but I don't rush her.

Her tongue in my mouth feels sweet and sensuous. The first time she kissed me, I was sold on the necessity of having sex with women.

I lost my top, then caressed her entire body with my breasts. Hers are amazingly generous. I love to lick all over and under them, sucking nipples and squeezing flesh. She starts to push her hips forward. I know what she wants. Still I only caress her soft pussy to start.

-I love to feel your soft hair...I love your pussy, I say breathlessly.

- she loves your hand... I'd like you to play with my clit. She pleaded
-Oh, you are ready for more intensity now? I teased.

she closed her eyes; whispering "yesss".

I paused leaving my hand on her without moving, watching her let herself go to desire...

I lowered myself to explore all of the folds of her sweet very wet pussy with my tongue. I can see her hole contracting quickly, needing to be entered.
I tease around the opening of it with my index finger while licking up and down the edges of her lips and clit at a good pace until wetness is starting to drip out. I enter her with a finger, then two. I can't let it beg anymore. She is shuddering and moaning hard.

I go for the g-spot while I continue to use my tongue flatly circling on her clit. This allows me to have an open mouth and alternate between nose and mouth breathing.

I feel her vagina tenting. It's as if a balloon has suddenly inflated the inside of her. I know this means orgasm is soon to follow. I best brace her and get ready to be on task.
With my right elbow, I pin her thigh gently.
I position my left forearm across her hips, applying pressure to her g-spot from the outside with the flat fleshy part of the underside of my thumb.
As I position my arm, I raise my head leaving the tongue in the same place.
a third finger goes in her with my right hand. I am almost sitting between her legs, now.
she pushes my shoulders down. This allows me to thrust my chest against my fingers for a harder fuck.
Now, with my head in a position to look down, it is effortless to increase tongue pressure and speed back and forth on her clit, just as she likes it , while mouth and nose breathing...
I hear :
"yes, yes, yes... I'm coming , I'm comiing , I'm comiiiing" ( always nice to be an informed consumer!)
as fast as the wave swelled, she wants all stimulation to stop after the big orgasm. I lay by her side, as she strokes my hair. I remain in bliss, so enamored with that sweet tasty pussy... My only regret: my wife needed a rest before she was ready to come again.
pussy licking
sexblogs
lesbian
g spot
sex and menstruation

...about that threesome

2005-06-17T20:48:00.000-02:00

It happened really very simply.
the night before fall semester break, I went out dancing with one of my girlfriends, C. ( she was the on /off again lover of my former college boyfriend, J. )
I asked C if we could stop by a guy's house to whom I had been feeling attracted. A punk boy who loved to walk around with a rat on his shoulder... It was my last night in town before a 3 week visit with parents, therefore I should get me some for good measure.

punk boy was not home. She and I went on to the comedy club where drinks and dancing ensued. Her new lover, Steve was the bartender. How convenient!
after listening to me lament about how I need to get laid and it is getting later... She announces: What if I loaned you Steve ? We discussed the fact that I thought it would be best for her to be there when this happens. Since it is her man, I would not want to create jealousy about the night. She agreed. Also, she wanted to get some that night.
then there was how to ask him ... She whispered something... He looked quizzical at first. Then there was a beaming smile bottle flipping a- la Tom cruise in cocktail. ( note to collegiate reader: this is by no means a sexy move)
I felt like the luckiest girl in the world to have such a great friend who would loan me her new man for my sexual emergency!
We eventually made it to his place.
His roommate was also available , but just too darn shy. I showed him my fishnet stockings, asking him if he liked them.... He said yes and showed me his homework related to an engineering project. I was in no mood to be "LA maitresse". I walked back to the living room where I joined C and Steve who were just drinking and hanging out. I approached and said " do you want to kiss him first or should I ?"
She asked him. We all started taking turns, kissing and he agreed to let us be in charge. This made us squeal with delight
( especially me)
I said " I think this will work better if we go to his room and get comfy". We sat on either side of him sliding our hands up and down his thighs...He looked nervous.
What a turn on it was to watch his eyes bug out ! His breathing was very shallow as he blushed. I love to make a man blush or stutter!
I directed we undressed him, then lay him on his back. We took turns sucking his cock and balls, alternatively.
Picture one girl on cock , other girl on balls with some hands mixed in playing with his ass or nipples...
we looked alike, short black hair, light eyes, similar small frames with good tits... Man I would have liked to have been in his spot! with a hand in a pussy on either side of me!
-" tell us what it's like!" I commanded.
-Oh my god, it's like ..... twins... being with twins....
his eyes were mooning
-two pussys almost exactly the same! someone please suck my dick.
She wrapped her mouth on him just in time to catch his come.
I must say that while there was pussy licking and fucking that occurred, keeping the details straight is fuzzy at best. At one point, I suggested she ride her man. He requested I ride his face at the same time. I obliged our gracious host as I held his hands down firmly. I was into my own orgasms by then. Hence, besides the little orgasms coming in rapid succession that I was experiencing, all I remember in some haze are her moans and the sound of him muffled in my muff as an added bonus to face ridding. ( what can I say? alliteration makes me laugh)
about 4 hours later, we were all finished. The boy was spent.

Sometime after dawn, I drove home. My Latina roommate, M asked me where I had been.
I announced "I just had the most exciting sexual experience of my life! I don't know if I can ever have regular sex again !"
I gave up some details.
She replied " I don't know if it's appropriate to have sex like that".
I answered:" if I feel this good, it is very appropriate for me, as long as the others involved also feel good... Besides, I don't know if it's appropriate for you to judge what is fun for me.... That would be like saying there's only one appropriate way to masturbate. THAT would be boring! ( I recently had encouraged her to learn how to pleasure herself ) I'm going to have this happy moment, please don't interfere with it. "
Thank God for the course I took called Human sexuality 101. The topic of the 3d day of class was " there is no such thing as perversion, simply different preferences."
threesome
college sex

life goes on

2005-06-17T00:23:00.000-02:00

-can i have a doctor's apointment tomorrow? .

I heard myself say it and thought "God life can be so mundane! even in the midst of great crisis.
My dad is dying. It's stage 4 cancer. I'm making my apointments like any other day...

He is the love of my life , as a friend so astutely pointed out.
sometimes I cry when I drive home thinking I will never see or hear this man so precious to me.

sometimes I just don't want to see him because it hurts to think of watching his suffering and deterioration...
sometimes it's just business as usual...
and SOME times, our time is so glorious and sweet, filled with juicy complicity, honoring and laughter... I know that is the thing that lasts forever.

even when you can't hear me, I love you dad.

Puritanical bondage and first 3some.

2005-06-15T19:04:00.000-02:00

For the last 3 days I have been reading peoples' blogs who relate in detail their sexual adventures:
Dacia, Madeline, Jefferson
I wonder if this is a "new trend". When I had my first threesome in college it was " unusual" . Yet, it felt so natural!
That's another story , for another time.

Until recently , I have very strictly avoided entering into what I call "pseudo- relationships" of the online variety...
I made 2 exceptions.
1) I have recently acquired an online-telephone boycompanion.
2) I decided to send e-mail to one of the bloggers. This was clearly a step toward entering into the fantasy world the net affords. In said e-mail, I coined the phrase "puritanical bondage". I like the layers of meaning in that.

To my surprise, the blogger responded to my e-mail. In fact, the response came rather quickly. What's better, he actually answered a question that's been on my mind a long time. What do people mean to express when they contrast the word "fuck" with "make love" ?

OK I am a weird alien from a different world. I am bi cultural. I grew up in France where the ads on TV do not tout " buy me 'cause I'm the best and everyone else wants me". Instead they beckon:" you want me because I will give you first desire , then pleasure".

So, in this, our very contractually oriented society, I get a wee bit annoyed with people's euphemism when they cannot follow them up with explicit phrases ie: " I want to have a relationship, not just sex."

I'm probably simply annoyed because I often run into the problem of announcing I do not want a relationship or dating arrangement to men who later want what I said I would not be giving.
the pesky puritans somehow have immersed the "average" brains into the hypnotic drone of " love, marriage, sex , kids" as a one-size-SHOULD fit-all-goal-in-life.
this is such bull shit. I refuse to believe that as a race, we could be so devoid of creativity.

We are all sexual beings ( human sexuality 101). We humans are the only animals I know of that have elevated sex to an art form ( me 101) ... We indulge in many varieties, infinite possibilities of pleasure. We even sell products to enhance our sexual experiences. Somehow, in this country , feeling good is supposed to be "wrong". Perhaps it does not make the capitalist wheel go, and that is the real problem. If everyone wants to take time to enjoy sex, how will they be properly enslaved to work for small wages?
once more, most astonishingly, if a woman actually makes a man scream like a girl from orgasms, most men/boys will fear the consequences.

I have even heard of the existence of women who do not let themselves come because they are afraid of what happens to their bodies... How sad!
I wonder if pleasure were valued above consumerism if there would be less obesity and less violence.
the prevailing attitude of the "average boys" seems to be "get it on the fly, you might not have another chance". This goes hand in hand with boring sex. The other popular boy myth=" If I attain it, then it must have no value".
consumerism and puritanism ..... I shudder at the combination. NOT in a good way.